Drown
by DeityOfDeath
Summary: InuYasha is captured by a rogue wolf. Can he be saved and if so will he be able to overcome whats been done to him?
1. Chapter 1: What doesn't kill you

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 1: What Doesn't Kill You**

Why is it the old saying, "when it rains it pours" seems to be my life's mantra. As I thought it I sighed heavily and pushed my sweat soaked bangs from my face and as out of the way as I could possibly get them.

It was hot and muggy. My body was sluggish and stiff from the hot weather and if the weather weren't grand enough trouble to contend with my belly twisted and cramped and I ached something fierce and with my aches came a slight fever which only seemed to grow worse the longer I stayed out in this heat. I sighed once more and looked up at the noon day sun which beat down on me from directly above and as much as I dreaded my human night I dreaded more of the suns heat and rays just as much.

"Yasha, are you staying the night with us," called Sango from where she stood in the doorway of her and Miroku's marital hut.

The two had been married for over a year now and she already twin girls to strap to her back and chest while she worked.

Between her and Rin the two were working hard on learning the ways of the village and medicinal care thanks to Kaede-baba. I had also become some sort of task between the three women.

Kagome had fallen ill some time not long after coming to stay with us and at my urging she returned home. I visited as often as possible but apparently not often enough because she was cured of her illness and then her loneliness by a handsome up and coming doctor.

I sulked and pitied myself and my situation for a bit before realizing it would never have worked out in the end. She would have died before me and I would have mourned her just I do my dear human mother. So perhaps I was spared a deep hurt.

"InuYasha," queried Rin as she came to stand at my side.

I sighed and gave her a small smile, "Sorry kiddo, lost in my thoughts."

I walked past her and was making my way to Sango's hut when howls rent the air. I turned and stared in the direction, my ears swiveling as I tried to find the location of the commotion. Rin's hand grabbed my sleeve and I could feel the shaking in her limbs as more howls rent the air and not the happy or excited yips or howls of Kouga's pack…these sounded different…dark and almost angry.

"Go into the hut and stay with Kaede-baba and Sango!"

Her frightened brown eyes looked into mine but she nodded once and off she ran on her gangly young adult legs and as she entered the threshold I pulled Tessaiga from its sheath and ran in the direction of the howls and came to a sliding stop in front of not a small pack but a group of at least fifteen everyday wolves. I heard a growl as they circled me until the bravest made a move jumping at me. I sidestepped releasing Tessaiga's true form slicing him through and then lifting it as two more jumped from my left and right at the same time I ran those two through and it then became a free for all as wolves came at me from every direction. I swung and if I was lucky I caught one of them but as they charged I had a bite her and a slice from fang or claw there.

Soon the number of wolves had dwindled and about six remained. I panted and gasped and was about to raise my sword again when something slammed into the back of my head.

Pain blossomed and I had a hard time catching my breath but I managed to roll to my side away from the weapon as it fell down where I had been laying. I looked up into cruel golden orange eyes bright as flames and filled with such malice and cruelty framed in dark auburn hair that fell in cascades around an arrogant face with high cheekbones.

"Oh, quiet the prize you've gotten this time boys…"

His voice was gravelly and deep and as he spoke the wolves around us yipped and howled.

"Oh, don't fret. We'll get your revenge and I believe I shall enjoy every moment of it," he ended it with a maniacal grin that allowed me a view of sharp canines at the corners of his mouth.

He held up a club and hefted it on his shoulder which was covered in black fur pelts and black and silver armor,

; While he looked down at me taking his time to explore the site of me from head to toe.

"You're quite a pretty thing for a male aren't you," he asked and I felt a shiver of fear.

"Such a powerful little delicate flower…I've seen one just like you before. He was more beautiful than you and a bit more regal but I can see the resemblance especially in those molten gold eyes that show such anger and hatred when looking at me."

He lowered the club and leaned on it for a moment while he seemed to think on it.

"I believe he was from the Inu Clan the son of some great Daiyoukai…what was his name…"

The words came from my mouth without thought, "Sesshomaru…."

"Yes! That was his name, the great Sesshomaru…ohh… so you know of him…"

He looked down on me and I tried to keep my eyes focused on him as the pain in the back of my head became stronger making me feel faint.

"If I am remembering correctly…the great lord had a younger brother…" and I watched him look above me and then his grin returned at what he saw, "You're the hanyou half brother! Oh, we are lucky!"

I heard his words and struggled to get up but he lifted his club and brought it down on my ankle.

The scream that tore from my throat sounded so unlike me and yet as he shattered my left ankle and then my right I couldn't make myself stay silent.

Tears gathered in my eyes and the pain was so overwhelming that my world went black.

Light flittered in and out and I found myself staring at rock and dirt walls. I sniffed and found myself losing my sensitive sense of smell and my chest clenched. I was in enemy hands on my human night and cruel and vicious ones at that.

A wolf sentry yipped alerting any who were present that I was awake and no sooner had it yipped a second time that a fur hide hung over what I assumed was a doorway was pulled aside and in entered the auburn haired man with the fiery garnet eyes and his cruel smile.

"I see you are awake, I am glad because taking those who are unaware is no fun."

I shivered and my fevered body trembled and all the numbness I had dissipated and I could feel the dried blood which made my hair tacky and the throbbing from the blow to my head and my ankles throbbed and pulsed as my weakened body and diluting demon blood worked to heal them.

I watched as the cruel man in front of me stripped from his armor and furs so that he was bared naked to the room and myself. The flap moved slightly as the sentry left.

He over my body and raked his sharp claws down my chest shredding my firerat robe and my skin. I gasped and shivered as he did this once more before bringing his claws to his mouth and licking my blood from his claws.

"Oh, you are tasty little one. I wonder if your dearest elder brother knows how sweet your flesh is."

No sooner had the words left his mouth that he shredded the cloth around my legs and arms and soon my heated flesh lay exposed and he took full advantage; nipping, biting and scratching any skin he could find.

I allowed the heat in my eyes to gather but refused to allow it to fall and as he crawled between my legs. I felt him probe at my entrance with fingers which brought a whine from my throat. I hated myself for sounding so weak but that thought left as he pushed his hard hot flesh into my virgin opening. I screamed and the hotness overflowed from my eyes as he cruelly smirked down at me.

"Oh, sweet hanyou…you are so pure. I will have to let your brother know what he is missing. What a gift I have been given tonight."

Screams were pulled from my throat until it was raw and my voice was gone as he had his pleasure cruelly with my body as though I weren't a living being. I felt him stop moving and the pain became worse as I watched him lean over me further, his hands came away with long ebony tresses I knew to be my own and he laughed cause him to move inside of me and pain blossomed once more as he continued pounding into my now human body. I gasped because I couldn't scream and would have wept more as he finally stilled thrusting deeper and harsher as he emptied his seed deep into my body.

He leaned over and bit my neck coming away with lips stained crimson with my blood.

"Oh, you are marvelous my beauty…so marvelous. I will make you mine. You are my bitch now. Oh, how beautiful you are in white covered in crimson and even more gorgeous in ebony and crimson."

He pulled out and I watched as he stood and then left the room through the hanging hide and I lay there praying for death as sleep took me.

To Be Continued…

This idea has been in my head for over a year. Finally it came back to me and I had to write it down. I know I have so many fics to finish but I have to get as much of this one down as possible before my muse abandons me again.

Kat


	2. Chapter 2: Makes you wish you were dead

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 2: Makes you wish you were dead**

Pain is an all too familiar feeling and so when I feel it I try not to panic but silently take inventory of each injury and hurt so that I know how likely I am to survive and continue on.

As I felt each twinge deep inside of my body I knew I there would be no escape today. I was ripped inside and out and my ankles still hadn't healed, if they even could. I can't remember ever having bones shattered, though I probably have. To have bones shattered and my body torn to shreds before and during my human night was new and my body seemed to have changed back but the pain was still there letting me know that I was still in deep shit.

I took a deep breath taking in the smells around me and found my attacker with the auburn hair missing but my wolf sentry had returned to watch over me. My body shivered and I felt ill as a throb in lower body became persistent and nausea began to build. I opened up my eyes and came eye to eye with a black wolf that yipped and then barked. The hide over the door moved and the first wolfs scent lessened.

I lay there wanting to be pain free and anywhere but here with fear rearing its ugly head as thoughts and scenarios ran through my head about what today would bring.

The hide parted once more and this time the auburn haired man entered once more with another muscular companion with black tresses pulled back from his face in perhaps the tightest ponytail I had ever seen. I wondered if the look of disdain and pain upon his slim face came from his tight ponytail or was just his normal look.

He looked me over and his deep brown eyes widened and he quickly turned to look at the auburn haired man and hissed out quick shocked words, "He is the hanyou brother of Sesshomaru!"

"I discerned that last night," the auburn man grinned while leering in my direction.

"This is no joking matter Kiba! If his brother finds out we're in deep shit," the tight pony-tailed man looked panicked.

"Calm yourself, Tobe. Rumor says that Sesshomaru despises his brother; calls him a blight on the Inu name if not worse," said my cruel captor who I now knew was called Kiba.

"Sesshomaru may hate him but he hates others touching what he deems his. He will notice brothers' absence and he will NOT be pleased. Not to mention he is friends with Kouga leader of the Eastern wolf tribe."

At Kiba's uninterested visage with his small grin still in place the one named Tobe made an exasperated growl, "You know…the tribe that your half sister Ayame married into?! This could end very badly Kiba."

"Do not fret about what has been done my dear Tobe. We must make sure our little pup is kept hidden. I have found a great treasure and I refuse to give him up."

His cruel grin made me shiver and I closed my eyes and prayed he would go away.

"I wish you would see the grave mistake you have made. We could beg forgiveness and perhaps be spared," but even as he said it Tobe gave me a glance over again and I watched as he paled and closed his eyes.

"You decided to follow me and seemed quite happy to steal from my brother in laws pack. We have taken women of his pack and had our way with them; you yourself have enjoyed the two you currently have in your quarters. We have already begun our downward spiral Tobe; there is no going back now."

I couldn't control the look of revulsion that flittered across my face as I thought of the poor women who had been forced upon like me. Women who had family and friends they had been torn away from and then to have their very bodies violated along with their hearts and souls.

I growled and felt myself grow bolder momentarily as I stared at the vile men before me.

"What a wonder you are," said Kiba as he began undoing his armor and dropping it in a pile by the hide entrance.

"I do love that look of hatred and dislike upon your face while your body trembles in fear and terror at the very thought of what I will do to you."

I watched Kiba reach into his britches pulling his throbbing erection free and then Tobe made a disgruntled noise and left with an exaggerated flip of the hide leaving it swinging after his exit.

I hadn't stared long when a hard slap brought my attention back to Kiba. It stung but my pride stung more.

"Yes, that is a beautiful look. You shall be my mate. I shall breed you and you will hate and give me that beautiful look while I fill you with the cubs of the man you loath."

He grabbed my left ankle and squeezed and I screamed for him and he laughed cruelly as he forced my legs apart and parted my body cruelly as he forced himself inside me once more.

I closed my eyes and thought of being anywhere but where I was, having done to me what was being done but he didn't he allow me that small respite. He cruelly slapped and scratched and bit any flesh he saw unmarked and made sure that my agony was his to enjoy as he speared me, body and soul.

He finally stiffened and filled me once more with his seed and hated him like I had never hated anyone; even Naraku.

He pulled himself free and laughed at my face which was pure rage and hate while hot tears escaped unbidden from my eyes.

"Oh, how I love you my hanyou whore."

He used a piece of my firerat robe to clean himself and returned his placid member to its confines before redressing and leaving me alone in my prison chamber.

Time came and went while I lay there hating him and imaging different ways I would kill him and then after what could have been hours the flap was pushed aside and two young women entered with steaming bowls of water and rags. They had hair of ebony and blue green eyes dulled by shared experiences within these cave walls.

They quietly helped me wash my body, removing what he left inside and out. When I was as clean as I was going to get with a sponge bath they left. I sat there alone lost in thoughts once more, wondering about the village and its inhabitants and then the flap moved once more and a lone girl returned with a small tray of meat and a bamboo shoot filled with water. She sat it by me and left quietly. No words were spoken but by her movements and eyes I could hazard a guess she was one of Kouga's clans stolen women.

I stared at the small morsel of meat and felt myself feel repulsed rather than hungry but my body needed nutrients to keep strong and if I was going to survive this I needed what I could get, especially if they kept my portions so small.

I forced myself to pick the meat up and into my mouth. I gagged but forced myself to swallow and I did this twice more until the plate was empty. I sat there and I waited and sipped gingerly at the water.

I had no further visit from Kiba and I fell asleep.

And thus my time in the small quarters hidden behind a tan hide was counted by wolf sentries posted to watch over me, meals brought in then empty dishes removed and in-between them Kiba would visit and take me at his pleasure; my body beaten and broken more so after each visit. When my ankles looked to be healing he broke them again.

I had made the mistake of scratching his face during his plundering of my body and he dislocated my shoulder, letting me know he was being kind with the dislocation because he could have easily and simply shattered the bones in my arm for such a simple transgression.

I still continued fighting him even if only with a simple look of dislike or a growl here and there. He seemed to only love me more for it. Even with my body broken I tried my hardest to fight him.

I soon found myself at odds with my body. I fought sickness, throwing up what little sat in my stomach and even after all food had been removed from my body I continued to heave until not even bile would come up. This happened for a long period of time and my body lost more weight and with it muscle mass. I soon found myself wanting death and it seemed that even Kiba feared I would die.

As suddenly as it had begun my illness ended. Whether he pitied me or simply didn't want his toy to die; Kiba tried his hardest to fill me with food of all sorts. And so I gained weight but very little muscle as I was trapped inside that room behind that dirty hide.

Kiba had all but vanished for a time and in his absence I noticed my belly had begun to round and curve outward. It was very noticeable when I was naked but just barely when I wore the thin robe given to me.

In my heart I feared I knew my ailment and as my body grew I knew the for certain…I carried Kiba's cub. My I had become his breeding bitch like he had wanted.

I was disgusted and thoughts of miscarriage and forcing the loss of the cub flittered through my mind but as I thought it I thought myself a cruel and horrible being for even having such thoughts. This little being was mine as much as his but I knew inside he would use this tiny and helpless unborn being against me and yet I still couldn't harm it.

I kept this secret locked away in my heart and mind and prayed I could think of some way to escape before Kiba noticed its scent upon my body.

My sickness and its heavy sour scent had helped to mask it but soon I would smell of milk and he would know I was carrying.

I began to do small exercises to strengthen my legs and thighs and when my wolf sentries were absent I would practice crawling and standing, gaining the ability a little each try. Pain was there but the incentive to escape helped to push it at the back of my mind.

I would escape!

Mine and my unborn cubs life depended on it.

To Be Continued…

Thanks for reading. Trying hard to get these chapters done.

Kat


	3. Chapter 3: Got a hole in my soul

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 3: Got a hole in my soul**

Hope is a fragile thing.

It seems as soon as you find it, it is stripped from you and your soul is left raw like an open wound with nothing to heal it.

I held my secret and with it my hope of escaping. Rumors of hope ran rampant throughout the cave that perhaps Kiba's absence meant he was dead. I knew better than to have such hope. Kiba, Tobe and two other wolf tribesmen resided in these caves with our wolf jailors. The other two were comprised of, another muscled lackey with short black hair and cruel red eyes named Akan and his nitwit skinny brother who looked to be a malnourished version of his muscled counterpart named Akira. Both were cruel and the captured wolf females often hoped to be kept by Tobe or Kiba and avoid the brothers' cruel attentions. I shuddered at the thought of how much worse it could be under the brothers when I had experienced much under Kiba's cruel hands.

I was lucky enough to not have to witness the cruel things whispered aloud in my confines by my visiting helpers in Kiba's absence but the stories themselves left me feeling lucky despite all Kiba had put me through.

A young female named Kira was one of three of my helpers who seemed to talk to help her nerves and keep her busy while she followed through with whatever task she had been given on any given day. She was a pretty thing with copper hair similar to Ayame's that was shorn close to her head. She told me often that she was jealous of my own long locks and how hers had been close to her knees before her capture. She said they had shorn it as a lesson in obedience when she had first arrived. Her eyes often became watery while she told me. I would lay a hand on hers and squeeze letting her feel a bit of comfort that could be shown without notice.

She and I found an odd friendship and I had told her many times that her beauty was there with or without her long locks. My muscles had strengthened and I had hope that I could run and possibly run again and I took the risk of telling Kira.

She had shown hope and I knew in her I would have an ally and aide. As my body grew stronger my belly grew wider and we waited and bided our time.

A day came when Kiba left with his pack and most of his wolves leaving behind a mere four wolves to watch over us. We decided then it would be this chance or none at all.

Kira had brought me Tessaiga wrapped in clean pelts; I had not asked how she managed to retrieve such an important item I merely gripped her hand tightly silently letting her know how much I appreciated her.

She gathered two of the women who could move and we decided it was time. I stood and wrapped myself in an old fur and tucked Tessaiga into my meager robe. As my wolf jailor entered I slid my sword from its sheath and plunged it into his chest. He gave a low whine and collapsed and that brought another wolf.

I transformed and slashed him in half before slashing the hanging hide in half. I hated that hide as much as I hated this cave that had become my prison.

Kira was at my side with a bloodied dagger bare in her hands.

"Let us go. The last wolf won't leave Sachi. He's guarding her so we are safe to go."

At her words we quietly and slowly exited the cave. Outside it was hot and humid and the sun had just barely made it past the horizon letting me know it was still early in the morning. I stumbled and had a small limp but I was walking and as I pushed my self forward I found myself running.

Beside me ran Kira and her two friends; one I simply knew as Shizuka, named so because she made no sound and was "quiet" with her ebony locks and crystal blue eyes the other was Hana a bruised and beaten female also with shorn hair though hers was ebony much like her eyes.

We ran, tasting freedom even with fear deep in her hearts. We ran until our chests ached and my ankles felt like there were small fires burning through them. We were thirst but too afraid to stop for a drink and so we pushed out broken bodies further than we ever thought we would.

I herded us through a nearly dried stream to help cover our scents and we ran through it until it dried up and then we continued running through woods. I had no sense of direction and the heat played tricks on our malnourished minds but still we continued on. The sun was just beginning to set when stopped finally for a break. I was sweat soaked an in pain from head to toe but I wanted to be free, needed to be free.

A howl rent the air and we all stood at attention.

I turned to Kira, "Go! Run and find Kouga. Tell him what's happened. If he can, have him fetch Sesshomaru."

Kira looked stricken and panicked and nodded to the other two to keep running.

"Go, Shizu…Kira. Bring help. I'll stay with him," Said Hana as she came to my side.

"Go Hana. I've got this."

She looked reluctant but I pulled Tessaiga from its sheathe and transformed it and held it so that it faced the direction of the howls closing in on us.

"Go," I growled out.

She vanished from my line of vision and the sound of her footsteps all but disappeared and I stood there shivering in the heat as I awaited my fate in the humid heat. I felt cold even with the heat surrounding me.

The howls became louder and I stood there with Tessaiga in my hands and even as I saw their forms approaching I fought my instinct to run with every fiber deep inside of me.

Instinct wanted me and my unborn pup out of harms way and far from these males but the idiotic hero in me wanted those females safe and far from here before they caught up.

As they approached they slowed their pace and I could see the anger in Kiba's eyes and yet I forced myself to stand my ground. I lifted Tessaiga and held it high and roared out loud, "Kaze no kizu".

The burst of energy tore the land up and forced them back and a cry of pain let me know I had managed to take down a wolf at least.

Kiba looked surprised for a mere moment before the look of anger returned ten fold. I took my eyes from Kiba as I watched Akan and Akira run forward to attack me and my heartbeat increased as I thought of their hands on Hana, Shizuka or Kira again and I raised Tessaiga again and growled as I screamed out "Kaze no kizu" once more.

Akan and Akira screamed in agony as it cut them in half and their bodies crumbled to the ground in a splash of crimson.

I saw Kiba growl and run at me but after a day of running and two powerful attacks my body was slow to react and before I could bring Tessaiga high for another attack Kiba had brought his sharp claws in front of him as kido and youki gathered. I knew I would die in this attack and I closed my eyes and felt myself thrown backwards.

I hit the ground gasping, wrapping my arms around my middle as instinct to protect my pup kicked in. At finding no wound I looked up from the ground and sobbed out loud at the sight before me.

Hana stood there, pierced through her tiny chest by Kiba's right hand. I screamed and stumbled to me knees and watched as Kiba forcefully pulled his hand from her body. She inhaled in pain and fell backwards into my arms and lap.

"Hana…No….."

My eyes grew hot as I stared down into her beautiful ebony pools. She coughed and blood as well as thicker things came up.

"Knew…you were…dumb…didn't want you to…get that cub…killed," she gasped out while blood gurgled up from her the corners of her mouth.

"No…no…no…idiot…" and as the words left my tightened throat so did the tears that I fought so hard to keep from falling.

"How very…touching," his callous voice said mockingly.

At Kibas words I looked up watching as he whipped his hand through the air trying to rid it of blood.

"Keep…it…safe…" and then the light left her eyes and her chest stopped rising.

I stared down at her and as she was wrenched from my lap cruelly and tossed away like a ragdoll I couldn't bring myself to look away from my crimson soaked robe which hugged my belly, showing the bump for what it was; a housing for the unborn pup within.

"Oh, I have been a bad mate...left my mate alone for far too long that I failed to notice he was carrying; but then again, how cruel of you to keep it a secret from me. I see a very naughty doggy that needs to be punished."

I wasn't expecting the closed fisted punching that sent me reeling backwards onto the hard ground. I lay there as stars danced in my vision that cleared as the all too familiar pain of my ankles shattering tore screams from my throat. Kiba took his anger out on my ankles and then my knees. I screamed cried and when he was done I found myself one large throbbing wound of physical, emotional and mental pain.

I prayed to any god that would listen for freedom and for my pups' survival but somewhere deep down inside I thought a quick death would be just as good.

When he deemed his handiwork good enough he lifted me into his arms and held me as though I were a precious bride and we began walking with a few wolves that remained alive following us. I swayed in his arms and found myself in a fitful sleep of pain and fevered dreams.

I awoke a few times along our journey to the caves and finally awoke in the same bed furs I had left behind. Kiba gave me no respite, he mounted me and cruelly had his pleasure with me, slapping me until lights flashed before me and wrapping his hands cruelly around my throat restricting my air flow until I thrashed and then he would let go. He had me on my back and when he was done he flipped me over and took me on my stomach careful to lift my hips; protecting the pup I carried even if not for me its carrier.

He barely left my side and often her and his remaining pack member Tobe, held their meetings in me presence in our room. His cruelty found new heights as he even had me in front of Tobe to embarrass me and teach me how I was nothing to him but his whore and bearer of his cubs.

My hell continued and I too found myself unable to speak even when spoken to. I locked myself away deep inside; hiding what remained of my self as if every beating, rape and cruel word spoken was someone else's pain and not my own.

I ate and drank what I was given and once more days grew into an endless time loop and the only changes were in my own body. My belly grew and soon I felt movement and it became my respite, a reminder of why I continued living. Soon even that became a new terror for me…

When I felt the pups movements and see them as well I knew I had to escape. I couldn't birth this pup away from this monster or die trying.

To Be Continued…

Trying so hard to write every night, so far I'm doing okay. Next chapter hopefully coming soon…

Kat


	4. Chapter 4: Growing deeper and deeper

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 4: Growing deeper and deeper**

My body was no longer my own. I belonged to Kiba and so he used my body whenever the mood struck him. He was angry enough at me that he had given me over to Tobe. Tobe's job was to punish and make me wish for Kiba but he hadn't really done much worse than Kiba. I had stopped screaming for them long ago and in frustration they had done to me what they had done to Kira and Hana; they had shorn off my white locks until my hair lay cropped below my chin.

I missed my long locks but I also disliked that they had to have their hands closer to my head in order to grip and yank or pull on my locks which they did so cruelly when I ignored their incessant babbling and tried blocking them out.

Today they seemed especially angry and they made sure to dole out equal punishments upon me of punches and kicks and I did what I usually did and curled tightly around my belly, protecting the precious life within. When they had deemed me punished to their satisfaction; they left me and went off to hunt and so I lay there bloody and shivering in the cold, the smell of snow and ice around me mingled with the musk and earthy smell of wolves and tinted copper with my own blood.

As I lay there shivering and in pain I felt an icy blast at my back and felt the soft and gentle touch of Sachi's callused fingers letting me know she was at my side. We would often curl into each other for warmth and comfort when Kiba and Tobe left though it seemed that she had been spared their cruel intentions because of me. I felt a small victory at having turned their attentions from her.

The slaying of their comrades had given her time to heal as I turned their ire strictly on me. We lay there, her arms wrapped around my body, her front to my back with her hands gently rubbing my expanding belly and we both ignored our growling stomachs while prayed for pain relieving sleep.

I had wondered if the demise of their comrades was the reason they had yet to catch any other females unaware to bring back to their cruel sanctuary. Perhaps my current condition and treatment were worth it if that were true.

As we lay there a loud howl echoed in the cave and I watched as our wolf jailers stood with their hackles raised and left us alone in the cave. I shivered in tandem with Sachi as we wondered what fate would await us, what new cruelty stood outside the cave entrance as barks, growls, yips and the occasional cry of pain echoed off stone walls.

It quieted and then the strong smell of musk, pine and clean earth and the ever present smell of copper of fresh spilled blood wafted through the cave along with the sounds of panting and yips of eager excitement. I cringed and curled into myself as much as my body would allow. I wanted to hide and not be there and when the flap to the room I was housed in was flung aside both Sachi and I flinched in fear of what was to come.

"Inu…Yasha…," asked an all too familiar voice that sounded so lost and confused.

My ears swiveled in the direction of his voice and my one good, non-swollen eye opened and looked up at the figure that came to stand over me.

There in all his snow covered glory stood Kouga. His cerulean blue eyes looked shocked and slightly disgusted but the disgust left as soon as it appeared and only pity mixed with shock and anger remained as he came to lean down over us. I closed my eye and cringed as his hand hovered over me and an unbidden whine left my mouth.

"Sachi, can you sit up," Kouga asked softly and I felt her nod at my back before her limbs left my body causing me to shiver as my body was exposed and left open for all to see.

I heard the rustling sound of cloth and heavy furs and felt them cover my body with warmth and the security I wanted was now there if even a tiny bit.

" Brace yourself, I'm going to lift you up, Muttface," and I felt his arms moves so that they came up under my knees and I bit my lip whining, trying my hardest to not yowl or scream at the pain of my broken knees being jostled along with my ankles.

He paused as if unsure to continue when Sachi cleared her throat and spoke softly, "They broke his knees and ankles. It will be painful no matter how you hold him."

I nodded and turned my body so that I could grab a hold of his breast plate under the thick fur cloak he wore. He wrapped his other arm behind my back and lifted me fully into his arms bringing me against him in a crushing hug. I felt someone wrap another fur around my body so that I was thoroughly bundled and then I felt the sway and jostle of my body in Kouga's arms as he moved. I huddled against his body warmth he ran and jumped and listened to his breathing and the steady thump of his heart and I felt safer than I had in months.

As we traveled I felt my eyes begin to close and I couldn't raise enough energy to fight it. I let Kouga's warmth and the swaying movements lull me into a deep sleep.

I awoke some time later in what looked to be an old abandoned hut. I was offered a cup of something warm enough that the cup steamed and when I made no attempt to leave my cocoon of blankets and furs to take it, it was then gently pressed against my lips. I took a few soft sips at first and upon tasting tea with could only be honey to sweeten it I finally brought a hand out to hold it to my mouth until I drained the cup.

Sachi giggled and took away the now empty cup and helped to return my arm to its cocoon of furs and warmth.

"Ginta found an old jar of honey and tea leaves and we could all use a nice pick me up, especially you," she explained happily.

I was amazed to see little Sachi so bright and full of a happiness I had never seen her show in the caves under Tobe and Kiba's care.

"Where…," I tried to ask but was spared asking my entire question.

"An old hut about half a days trek to either your brother's home or our caves," said Kouga from beside me.

At the confused and slightly panicked look on my face he continued, "Your brother has been helping us search for you. It is up to you where you would like to go. I've sent Hakaku and some wolves to find him and inform him of your rescue. He should be here in the morning if not earlier."

I wrapped my arms around my belly and felt my pup stretch and roll inside of me and struggled to bring my thoughts together.

"You are welcome in the Eastern Youkai wolf tribe for as long as you want to stay. You helped to save not two but three of our pack members," and as Kouga said it I could see that he knew and understood at least some of what I had done to save Kira and Shizuka.

As I thought of the two I felt my heart constrict and my throat tighten as Hana's death replayed in my mind.

It was as if he were reading my mind because Kouga made a disgruntled noise and ruffled his hair frustrated,"I know what you're thinking. That stupid muttface of yours says it all!"

"We found Hana's body. She wouldn't die without reason and after seeing that belly you have I'm not surprised she would stay to protect you. Hana was always the big sister of the pack. She especially had a soft spot for cubs, so don't go blaming yourself; Stupid dog."

The insult was said with affection and I nodded and buried my face in the furs as I fought to hide the tears that were cascading down my cheeks.

When my tears were dried up I lifted my face and found Kouga settled on the floor at my side. We sat against a wall in the corner or the hut facing the only door in and out of the small ramshackle dwelling. I watched him doze and when the peace of my surroundings lulled me into another peaceful I let it.

To Be Continued….

Sorry about the short chapters. I'm writing before and after work and I seem to have caught a cold some I'm forcing myself to update everyday so that I won't have an excuse to stop. I'm going to try for another chapter of "Do What you have to do" so I can finish that fic up and work on finishing the next one. Trying hard to finish fics so I can start on more new ideas… so many… Still want to write fics for Bleach, Kuroshitsuji, Saiyuki, Fullmetal Alchemist and now for Yuri on Ice 3

Thank you for reading and hopefully you'll continue enjoying my works.

Kat


	5. Chapter 5: And I can't take

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 5: And I can't take**

I blinked open my eyes and had to quickly close them as the warm rays of the sun stretched across the room to cover my face in warmth and bright light. It was still freezing cold but the sun had never felt so…amazingly warm and comforting to me as it did now.

I opened my eyes once more and glanced around the room finding Kouga gone from his spot beside me. I found Sachi across the room starring out the window with two of Kouga's wolves. I could smell Ginta nearby, probably out front keeping guard.

My bladder was screaming at me and I shifted in the furs debating on how to move to the chamber pot in the next corner to relieve myself. I must have made a frustrated sound because I looked up finding Sachi at my side. She followed my line of sight and immediately understood. She fetched the chamber pot and helped me like she had so many times before; helping to ease my body over it and then turning away to give me privacy and oddly enough Kouga's wolves did the same.

Once my bladder had been relieved of its heavy burden I cleared my throat and Sachi came over and took the chamber pot and its contents away without a word.

I re-bundled myself and snuggled as far into the furs as possible as I could so that when the door opened I was prepared for the icy blast of air that followed. I watched as Sachi left and after a few minutes she returned with a cleaned chamber pot and a kettle packed full of clean snow. I watched as she put the kettle of snow over the fire and then went back out with an empty bowl, returning with the bowl now filled with packed snow. As the snow in the kettle melted she added the snow from the bowl until there was none left and we both watched the kettle heat and steam.

When the kettle whistled she pulled it off and grabbed an old can and opened it allowing the smell of stale green tea to permeate the small shack. She poured water in three cups and added the tea leaves before leaving the shack again with her kettle and bowl. I watched her repeat her earlier actions, only this time while the water boiled she opened the jar of honey and added it liberally to the three cups and brought a cup of the steaming beverage to me.

I took it from her chilly hands and brought it to my mouth sipping it gingerly and enjoying the taste of green tea and honey as it warmed me and filled my aching belly. As I drank I watched as she handed a cup to Ginta who stood guard out front. She came in and sat by the fire sipping the third cup. She filled it again with water, tea leaves and honey and poured the rest into a bowl which she set before the wolves giving them a small amount of tea leaves and honey which they happily lapped up once it had cooled some.

The door opened and Kouga entered carrying two white rabbits. I felt my mouth water and my stomach growl and then Hakaku walked through the door and behind him came the tall and intimidating figure of my older brother; Sesshomaru.

I felt my stomach drop and I fought the need to whine and cower as he fully entered the room. He emanated power and though we had come to blows before and I had removed his arm from his body I now felt anything but powerful and strong in his presence. I felt broken and weak and the need to be anywhere but in this shack with him was strong.

He looked around the room and finally his eyes came to rest on me. I felt my ears flatten against my head as he stared at me and traveled over what could be seen from my head to the bottom of the furs and blankets. I could see him perfectly clear which let me know that my blackened eye had healed much over night.

"How bad is he…damaged," Sesshomaru asked and I had heard the odd tone in his voice as he asked the question aloud. Part of me bristled knowing he hadn't asked me personally but as broken as I felt I knew I would find it difficult to answer him.

Sachi came to my side and knelt beside me as she gave me a sad look and a reassuring nod while she gently pried my fingers from the furs so that she could part them. I fought it and a whine was tore from my throat and I hated it and my self in that moment for looking so weak in front of my brother as well as the others gathered around us.

"He might know healers that can heal the damage, let him see and then you can cover back up," and though I trusted Sachi's words I wanted to cry out and tell her that he was the one person I didn't want to look weak and broken in front of but I couldn't and so I let go of the furs and grabbed her hand and squeezed it like the lifeline it was.

She returned my squeeze and we were both surprised when Sesshomaru knelt slowly in front of me, making himself seem smaller and slightly less threatening. I closed my eyes and the furs and blankets parted exposing first my twisted and mangled ankles colored in purple, blue and green bruises. The cold air traveled to my knees which were as mangled and broken as my ankles with bruising. Finally the cold forced my eyes open as my chest and belly were exposed for all to see.

I yanked my hand free from Sachi's and wrapped it around my belly where my other hand had already been wrapped; which still felt too exposed even though it was hidden behind the ratty robe I wore. I shivered then and couldn't seem to stop as whines left my throat unbidden while I looked up into Sesshomaru's eyes. I saw his eyes widen and then narrow and there was a minute clenching of his jaw.

It was him that pulled the blankets and furs back around my body and Sachi who then tightened them. I felt the shivering slow until I was still once more and my whines had softened to nothing. I still stared at Sesshomaru, watching to see what he would do or say. I had heard many hurtful and cutting words from him over the years that hurt almost as much if not more than his attacks but I was unprepared for the look of pity and shock that chased across his usually schooled features. It was momentary and was replaced by fury and then a cool anger I was more accustomed to because it was usually aimed at me. He stood again and I flinched at the sudden movement but continued watching him.

"Over time he can be healed. He will need the bones to be broken and reset. It will be painful but it needs to be done," and as the words left his mouth I felt sickened.

More pain…of course…

"He's carrying," said Sachi as if it wasn't obvious.

"Yes, which means it would be a slow healing process so it would have to be done one at a time," stated Sesshomaru as he seemed to give me that look of pity I found so odd on usually emotionless visage.

"I figured as much…" muttered Kouga he calmly watched over us.

I was felt confused and Sachi patted my shoulder, "Carrying takes a lot of your energy; it's why you've been healing so slowly."

I suppose it made sense. My body was helping another life grow and develop so I had no energy to spare on breaks let alone blackened eyes.

"We need to get him moved somewhere he can get rest and care," said Kouga and I watched as Sesshomaru looked at him and then over at me as the two of them considered things that went over my head but more than likely involved me in every aspect.

"Do you have a preference InuYasha," asked Sesshomaru.

I looked at him and thought about the palace that was more than likely filled with demons that were as biased as Sesshomaru seemed to be when it came to hanyou and humans. It would probably be stuffy and filled with rules and etiquette lessons and I would spend my days walking on eggshells afraid to do or say something that would offend someone. It would also be uncomfortable for both Sesshomaru and I trying to interact with each other let alone the idea that I would soon birth a pup that was part wolf with no sire.

I looked at Kouga and realized that he would be more laid back. I had been to his caves multiple times and knew his pack and his mate. I knew how caves worked and for the most part I understood pack politics and societal workings. I would also have other wolves around who could help me with my unborn pup. I was once told by Kira that the pack was one large family and everyone had a part in raising cubs in one way or another. But would I be a bother? Would I be a hindrance to his pack and drain on their limited winter supplies?

I must have whined as I felt the decision weigh on me because Kouga spoke first helping me in my decision making.

"Come stay with us for now and if you decide you would rather stay with your brother then we can easily contact him and have him come for you. Seem like a good plan to you, Sesshomaru," Kouga asked with his arms crossed facing my brother with a slight grin in place.

My brother nodded, "It is agreeable with me if it is agreeable with InuYasha."

I saw both pairs of eyes looking down at me and it seemed the best plan of action for now and I nodded my ascent.

"Lets eat a bit and then we can head to the Eastern Mountain," Kouga said as he held up the rabbits.

"I will see that you arrive to the caves safely and then I will return to my territory," Sesshomaru looked down at me and I nodded feeling a little safer in his presence than I had since I was a child.

Kouga made quick work of the hares; skinning, gutting and mostly de-boning them. He tossed the innards to his gathered wolves and made sure to give the thickest cuts to Sachi and myself. He offered Sesshomaru some of the raw red meat but he declined. I myself only occasionally ate raw meat but whether it was the lack of such fatty and protein rich food or whether the pup inside was causing the desire I was ravenous for it and so when I had eaten my helping I was surprised to find another helping being handed to me.

I blushed but took the offered meat with a soft "thanks" and ate it all; licking the blood from my fingers once it was gone.

Food and drink in our bellies, we were on our way to the caves. My body had done its best to heal while I had slept through the night but I still yelped and gasped as I was once again lifted into Kouga's arms.

I was wrapped securely into my furs and blankets and we left behind the warmth of the shack and headed out into the snow once more.

The sun had warmed the temperature some but it was still chilly and I took full advantage of Kouga's body warmth while we journeyed to the caves.

Upon arriving at the caves we were greeted by many wolves and pack members including Ayame whose expanded belly was as noticeable as my own.

She came over and leaned in giving me a big hug, "Welcome home InuYasha."

As she said it I had hope that perhaps these caves could become my home…

To Be Continued….

Okay, onto the next chapter.

Kat


	6. Chapter 6: One more moment of this silen

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 6: One more moment of this silence**

My first day in Kouga's pack was interesting.

I had gotten to know many of the wolves and pack members over the years, especially after many had helped in the fight to defeat Naraku and it was almost as if we had never parted ways.

I was treated like any other pack member. I was given a jovial greeting with a happy yip or lick by the wolves and a vocal greeting often followed by a hand on the shoulder or back by the youkai members of the pack. Young ones stared almost reverently at me and Sesshomaru who had followed us into the caves.

He seemed to take my current wellbeing very seriously. I was amused that he had gone as far as following Kouga into the caves to see me housed properly.

We had come to a large inner dwelling inside the cave and entered it through a nicely decorated hide made of what looked to be bear furs. The room was large and on one side of the room a pile of furs laid one on top of the other to make up a large sleeping area. On the other side of the room was a small curtained off area where another smaller pile of furs lay with a fur hide tied off so that if the individual in that area needed privacy they could have it.

I was carried over to this area and Kouga knelt down gently placing me on the furs while Ayame helped to arrange furs around me so that my back was comfortably propped up against the wall and my legs were slightly elevated. I gave her small smile which she returned with one twice as large.

"Welcome to my personal quarters. We figure we'd be able to better care for you here… that and Ayame insisted after having talked to Kira and Shizuka."

I was amazed at what Kouga had said. I was certainly getting a royal welcome and I felt oddly happy about the praise and attention.

I muttered soft thanks and settled into the furs comfortably as I watched those around me who seemed to be watching me as I looked around my surroundings.

"This Sesshomaru will take his leave. You know what I expect of you Prince Kouga," as Sesshomaru speak he gave Kouga an intense look and upon Kouga's nod I realized that they had made some unspoken vow or promise.

Sesshomaru turned to look down at me once more and then he spoke, "When next we meet this Sesshomaru expects a standing greeting."

To most it would have sounded rude or incendiary but I understood it for what it was; a wish for a speedy recovery which shocked me somewhat and made me feel a bit of the sibling love we had rarely shared.

I nodded and he turned and walked out of the room. I watched him go and felt myself becoming tired from all of comings and goings of the day.

"I know you're probably tired but we have the most amazing hot springs here in the cave and I bet a good wash and soak would feel amazing; whaddya say InuYasha," Ayame's bright green eyes glittered with enthusiasm as she told me and I couldn't think of a reason not to agree.

I took a deep sniff and realized I needed a good bathing, I hadn't a good wash in a while and it would be nice to remove the scents of both Kiba and Tobe from my skin.

"Sure," I answered softly.

Kouga stretched and leaned back down lifting me again but this time making sure to wrap a thin blanket around me.

"Lead the way dearest," he said grinning at Ayame who waddled ahead of him and out of the room.

We followed and I began rethinking my decision as we passed more pack members. I wondered how crowded the bathing area would be and it must have shown on my face because Kouga spoke.

"No need for the frown lines there dog breath. Being leader has its perks and I have a private bath that only a privileged few get to use."

I felt the humidity increase as we neared the entrance and upon entering the hide closed entrance I fought to hold back nervous excitement.

We entered and I saw a small area set up for washing with a large natural spring a few feet away. Kouga set me down on a wooden stool and stepped out of my line of sight. I heard the flap move and then realized it was Ayame, my self and now Sachi and Kira in the bathing area. Kira looked a lot healthier since I had seen her last and her beautiful copper hair had grown out quite a bit.

I smiled at her and she returned it ten fold as she brought a pile of drying towels and rags over to my side.

"I can say that I am truly happy to see you again InuYasha," she said cheerfully.

"Same," and even with that one simple word our eyes met and things unsaid passed between us that we were not quite ready to say aloud but it was enough for now.

Sachi brought over a small wooden tub filled with warm water and set it in front of me. I looked around feeling a bit uncomfortable at first but seeing how Kira and Sachi had seen my naked body too many times to count and how Ayame and I were currently in the same condition I made myself inhale deeply before I untied my sash and removed my tattered and dirty robe. I was handed a bar or soap that smelled of lavender and chamomile and a clean wash cloth and carefully leaned over and dipped the rag into the hot water and soaked my wash cloth and lathered it with soap and began with the easy to reach areas of my hands and arms. They were the least painful to get to in my current condition and as I washed there I found Kira at my feet helping to wash them with gentle hands. I wasn't surprised to find that another set of gentle hands began to soap and scrub at my shoulders and back, what did surprise me was that it wasn't Sachi.

Sachi sat next to me cleaning her own body which meant it had to be Ayame. Part of me wanted to be embarrassed but the rest of me was enjoying the pampering handiwork these two wonderful female wolves were providing. When I had been thoroughly scrubbed a ladle was used to wash away the suds and dirt.

A gentle hand tapped the top of my head, "Close your eyes, Yasha."

Ayame's voice was sweet and endearing and even more so as she helped me in this endeavor. I closed my eyes and warm water poured down over my hair until it was thoroughly soaked and then soap was applied and small, skilled fingers worked their magic through my short cropped locks until I wanted to wag my nonexistent tail in enjoyment. A tap to the top of my head told me to once again close my eyes and after I did so water was ladled over my head again.

I was clean from head to and I felt more myself in that moment than I had in a long time, as if I had washed Kiba and Tobe away with the dirt.

I was given a long towel which with help, was wrapped around my body. Ayame left the room and returned with Kouga who lifted me in his arms grinning like an idiot.

"Your smell is almost tolerable now," he joked and slapped his shoulder out of habit.

He carried me over to the hot spring and sat me down carefully in the water which seemed to ease any remaining discomfort and tension from my body. I sat there with Sachi who also entered and sat with me. As we sat and enjoyed the comforting heat; Ayame, Kouga and Kira washed and then joined us.

I sat there basking in friendship, listening to Kouga and Ayame discuss the comings and goings of the pack and playfully bickering while Sachi and Kira caught up with each other and I sat there enjoying the normalcy of it all. As I sat there my pup kicked and moved and I grinned as I gently followed their movement along my expanding belly. I did this for a while until I realized that talking had ceased around me and upon looking up I had four pairs of eyes on me and my belly.

"You have quite the active little cub," Ayame said with wide smile.

I nodded, "Seems he really likes the warm water."

"So you think you're having a boy," asked Kouga.

I shrugged as I considered it, "It feels like a boy."

Ayame grinned and squealed happily, "Me too, when I told Kouga that he laughed at me."

I turned to Kouga and shrugged, "I'm not a carrier…but it just sounded odd to me that she was certain that we were having a son."

I grinned, "We'll just have to wait and see."

Ayame smiled as well as she cradled her own belly, "I have two more months, how about you?"

As I looked down at my belly I counted in my head, "Should be a little over three months left."

"Our children can be like littermates," Ayame proclaimed happily.

At the confused look on my face Ayame smiled wider, "Cubs born from the same mother are littermates but we use a wider variation in this pack. Littermates can also be cubs born close enough together that they can be considered littermates and often enough they become siblings in bond and behavior."

I smiled and then nodded, "I would like that."

We left the comforts of the water after that conversation and once again I had Kouga's help, as he carried me back to my new quarters. Upon reaching the room I was given I found three sets of clean robes. I changed myself into a deep blue set and made myself comfortable under my given blankets and furs.

Kira entered the room bringing hot tea and fresh meat that had been roasted so that just the outside was brown, the inside still red bloody. I was given a bowl and I made quick work of it til the bowl and my cup of tea was empty.

I was almost ready to fall asleep when an older woman entered with Shizuka at her side. She greeted Kouga and Ayame and after a gentle prod at Ayame's belly she made her way over to my bedside along with Kouga.

"InuYasha, meet Koname. Koname, InuYasha," though Kouga's introduction left much to be desired I took one look at this woman with wise blue eyes and snow white hair pinned into a bun atop her head who smelled herbs and tea and knew exactly who and what she was.

"You've come to look at my legs or my pup," I asked softer than I intended.

"A bit of both," she said with a soft smile.

I nodded and watched as she lifted her hands showing them to me, "We'll start with your little one and if all seems well there then we'll move on to seeing where we can begin on your legs."

At my nod she placed her small yet strong hands on my belly which she pressed and prodded as she found the pups position. She sat with her hands on my belly and I felt her youkai rise around us and I gasped as my pups responded with its own and she gave a wide grin patting my belly a few times before removing her hands.

"There is much that needs improvement but given the circumstances I am happy to say that you have one strong little one who seems quite healthy in this old healer's opinion."

I hadn't taken all she had said in before her hands lifted my furs and blankets so that she could look at my ankles. She studied them and held her hand behind her as she called out to Shizuka, "The mint and juniper mix Shizuchan."

A jar was put into her hand and she opened it and liberally scooped it onto her fingers. She slathered it gently along my right ankle and massaged it carefully in making my ankle cold and tingly and then blissfully numb. She did the same to my leg and then my knee and once I was pretty numb she carefully looked over my right leg from my knee down to my ankle.

"The knee is not in bad condition at all. It looks to be healing on its own and with proper nutrition and care should heal almost like new. I am saddened to say that your ankle is a bit more…complicated. I can tell it has been broken or shattered more than once but I am certain it can be healed."

She repeated the same procedure for my left ankle and knee and gave the same report. My knees having only been broken once would heal, my ankles were going to be a little work and quite a bit of pain.

As she finished up she handed me the jar of ointment, "Use this when necessary and if you need more you need only ask. I will send over a tea on the morrow. We well wait a week and if you seem up to it, we shall see what can be done for those ankles."

"Thank you," and as I said it she shook her head.

"We have much to thank you for young one. Because of you my granddaughter was returned," as she spoke she looked upon Shizuka with an affectionate smile.

The two of them left and I settle into my new furs and no sooner had I closed my eyes than I felt sleep pull me into its warm embrace.

To Be Continued…

Thank you for reading! More coming soon!

Kat


	7. Chapter 7: The loneliness is haunting me

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 7: The loneliness is haunting me**

A week had come and gone in the Eastern caves and I had healed nicely under the care and attention I received from those around me. Koname had checked my knees repeatedly and I was told that they had healed nicely and with the lack of pain I was feeling I agreed. My ankles were a different story…

Kouga had sent word to Sesshomaru in the middle of the week at Koname's behest as she asked for his aide in finding a strong healer who could set bones. It wasn't that Koname couldn't set the bones in my ankles; she wasn't strong enough to break them again and though I trusted Kouga and others of the wolf tribe I was glad that she had asked for outside medical help. It had been torturous to have them broken the first time and almost hell to have it repeated a second time so a third time was not something I wanted to revisit but in order to walk again it had to be done.

I was surprised that it took less than a day for a return message that stated he would arrive on the morrow with his own personal physician.

And so here we stand…

I lay on my warm bed furs with Koname and the physician named Tensen. Tensen was a tall individual who equaled in height to my brother, if not a hair taller. He had that was a green so deep that it reminded me of pine needles and eyes that were a pale moonlight blue. His scent like most males was musky but had hints of herbs and spices much like Koname. I figured it must be a healer thing…probably from working so long with so many spices and herbs and plants of various types. His long green locks were in a ponytail which he kept pinned against the back of his head so it was out of the way while he worked.

I watched them both as Koname spoke softly over me and showed him my knees which they prodded and poked and then they moved to my ankles. I looked up and found that Kouga, Ayame and Sesshomaru both stood a short distance away observing the examination. Ayame offered me a warm smile and I was going to return it until a yelp was ripped from my throat as my ankle was lifted and moved in various directions.

I struggled to keep my self still as pain shot in all directions with the movements. When Tensen had finished I was sweating and working on returning my breathing to normal. My left leg shook as they gently set it atop a folded blanket so it was propped up.

"It's a fine mess but I'm pretty certain it can be repaired," and as he spoke I felt hope and dread both fill me.

I wanted to walk normally again and perhaps even one day run and jump like I had before all of this had happened. The idea of them breaking and resetting it had my stomach in knots. The mere movements were torture I could only imagine the re-breaking…

I felt Koname's delicate hands gently rubbing her mint and juniper ointment on my left ankle and was glad to have the pain numbed. I owed her much as the trembling in my leg lessened with the pain.

It was short lived however as Tensen repeated the same movements on my other ankle. I was able to contain any sounds of pain and when it was over I was more than ready for all of this to be done. Tensen seemed a bit happy after this examination and even turned to look me in the eyes.

"This ankle is a bit better and we won't have to do nearly as much in order to repair it. I have hope that we might have you up and about before your delivery date."

I offered a nod and sunk back against my furs closing my eyes at some good news.

"When can we start this procedure," asked Sesshomaru as he came closer to my side.

"If everyone is amiable to it, I can start today. We should start with the left ankle since it will be a quicker break and much easier to heal. There are only two bones that need to be broken and reset and then I can see that they are set. The rest Koname sama can take care of," Tensen said as he continued eyeing my ankle which had yet been given the tender mercy of Koname's numbing ointment.

All eyes were on me and I realized that the decision was mine and mine alone. I sighed and nodded forcing myself into a bravado I didn't feel, "Let's do it now. Why waste your time."

I knew I sounded grumpy and moody but if they expected me to be excited about my own torture; even if it was for a greater good, then they crazy.

I watched as Koname left the room and after a few minutes she returned with thick carved branches and clean bandages. Shizuka came behind her with satchels of herbs which she wasted no time steeping in a cup of hot water. I was handed a thick wad of soft leather which I held loosely in my hands in confusion.

"Before we start it'll probably be best if you bite down on that. It'll prevent you from cracking a tooth, biting through your tongue or into your lips or cheeks."

As Koname said it I knew she was being kind but I couldn't help but sink into the edges of memories. I hadn't had a chance to sink too far thanks to Kouga's hand on my shoulder. I blinked, looking up into her cerulean eyes and then felt a hand on my other hand. I glanced over and saw Ayame's bright green eyes full of determination and hope for me. I was handed a warm cup of tea which I quickly downed.

I sighed and laid back, the leather fisted in my left hand and not in my mouth. I was being stubborn but no one commented on it.

"I need someone to hold his leg still," and after Tensen spoke I felt Sesshomaru's hands easily pinning my leg down and I was fighting the panicked feeling that wanted me to thrash and fight to get away.

Kouga came behind me and gently pinned my shoulders against him self from where he sat behind me; my body partially pinned against his own. I looked around and made myself see each individual and their face, reminding myself that Kiba and Tobe weren't here and I was safe.

Tensen's hands wrapped around my ankle and I felt his exhale and then I closed my eyes as he twisted and pulled my ankle towards him in a quick motion. The pain was sharp and I felt my body move against both Sesshomaru and Kouga's strong holds on my body. Tensen's hands felt around and then repeated the same twist and pull in the opposite direction and I screamed as the sound of my bones breaking and the pain sent me down into a memory I didn't want.

I saw Tobe's cruel grin from above me as he knelt on my arms, his hands pressing on my chest and then I looked up just in time to see Kiba's club coming down on my ankles and everything went black.

I felt a cold rag on my face gently wiping my eyes of the hot tears that continued falling while someone murmured beside me. I blinked until the last of the tears were shed and my eyes were cleared and I saw Ayame was a rag in hand and worry in those lovely green eyes as she looked down at me. I gave her a small smile which she returned ten fold as she gently pet my head.

"It's all done. We're done for today," and as she softly whispered such kind things to me I couldn't help but let them calm me into a lulling tiredness. I looked down my body and found my ankle wrapped and then wrapped against the branches to keep my ankle still and straight so that it would heal properly. I closed my eyes as my body throbbed with pain; both emotional and physical.

I reached out and found Ayame's hand and upon finding it I gripped it and gave it a squeeze. I reassured myself she was there and I was safe and she returned the squeeze and I fell into a deep slumber.

Many things filtered through my mind.

Images of my mother sitting on the porch watching me as I stumbled among the many flowers in the garden of some large palace and her beautiful smile that was reflected in the beautiful pools of brown that were her eyes. I fell and sharp pain engulfed my ankle as the younger version of my self sobbed she lifted me into her arms. I found warmth and comfort and another set came around us and held us close and though I couldn't see who they belonged to I knew we were safe and warm.

I awoke with the room covered in darkness and as I lay there I realized I no longer lay on my own bed furs in my small nook. I lay in a pile that was larger and more comfortable. I also realized that I wasn't alone. On my right I was wrapped in Ayame's warm embrace with her arms and I noted the warmth at my back and saw what I knew to be Kouga's arms wrapped around Ayame with me in the middle.

I wiggled and try to remove myself from their embrace but they only squeezed tighter, "Rest mutt, your safe," Kouga said in sleep roughened voice.

"That's right, you're safe InuYasha. Sleep and heal," Ayame said and gave a bright smile even in her sleep.

I settled down and allowed their warmth to lull me back to sleep.

To Be Continued ….

Thanks for reading~!

Kat


	8. Chapter 8: And the weight of the world's

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 8: And the weight of the world's**

One would think it would be awkward to wake up nestled in-between your friend and his mate but it wasn't. They acted as if it were the most natural thing and even more so when Kouga's unborn cub kicked enthusiastically in Ayame's belly which pushed against my own and awaking my own pup who also pushed and moved showing off in the midmorning. Ayame and I couldn't help but laugh at the oddity and hilarity of it all which had woken Kouga up.

He stared at us with our hands on our bellies, watching as a foot pressed here or a hand pressed there and he too found himself chuckling at our wiggling inhabitant's antics.

Ayame and I both struggled to sit up and once we were sitting we began an interesting day.

Koname and Tensen entered our room and neither looked surprised at all to find me in Kouga's bed furs and neither made mention of it. Koname undid the bandages on my ankle and pressed very carefully around my healing bones and I noted the lack of pain as did she. She gently turned it one way and then the next and then moved out of the way and allowed Tensen to do much the same.

"I am surprised to say that you healed quicker than we thought you would," Tensen said with a grin.

I looked down at my ankle noting that it almost looked perfectly close to what it had looked like before I had found myself in Kiba's cruel hands. I carefully wiggled and moved it and found that they were right and I felt a bit of excitement.

"Not that I want to pry…but how did you sleep last night," asked Tensen.

As he asked I saw Sesshomaru enter the room and felt myself blush, "whattya mean," I asked trying not to blush.

Ayame's bustling around the room stopped and she turned to look at us, while Kouga who had been across the room stretching blinked a few times and also turned to look at us.

"He was moaning and shivering so I suggested we move him to our bed furs," and even as Ayame said it I felt my cheeks heat.

"And…" asked Tensen.

"Mutt face stopped shivering and he fell asleep," Kouga deadpanned.

"How were you positioned," asked Koname who now had a look of great interest as she and Tensen seemed to have stumbled across something fascinating.

"He slept between us. We figured it was the best way to keep him warm, kind of like a pup," answered Ayame who like me was trying to figure out where the odd questioning was leading.

Tensen and Koname both grinned and shared a look over my head.

"I'm thinking he might have healed with your help," said Tensen.

"When pups or pack members are sick or wounded they heal better when surrounded by other pack members usually because we can share youkai or energy to help in the healing process," Koname provided.

"So you're saying that InuYasha called out to us like a pup or pack member and us responding and huddling over him allowed him to heal," asked Kouga.

"That's what I'm thinking," said Tensen with a smile.

"Would it have worked with Sesshomaru", and as Ayame asked it Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow in response to the question.

"It's a strong possibility. If InuYasha had been properly mated his mate would have provided the energy and assistance needed to heal but he is unmated and so his body found the next best thing," Said Tensen as he began jotting all this down in a small bound leather book.

"So we could probably work on his other ankle tonight," asked Kouga with a look of excitement.

I frowned and stared down at my other ankle which throbbed and ached. I looked up at the assembled group as I waited for someone to speak.

"We could if everyone's in agreement and willing," said Tensen.

I sighed, "Can we eat first?"

Koname nodded and she and Tensen stood up, "The day just started so lets ready things and then tonight we shall start on the next ankle."

She and Tensen left deep in discussion which left Ayame, Kouga and Sesshomaru awkwardly starring down at me.

"Well I'll make us some tea and gather something to eat," and Ayame did just that, busying herself at the small hearth in the middle of the room and I sat there staring at Kouga and Sesshomaru who seemed lost in some quiet conversation within his own mind.

I sat there and felt myself annoyed with the quiet and so I began to quietly scoot myself to the wall on my bottom until I came to the wall where a small stool sat. I pulled myself up onto the stool and sat there catching my breath and giving myself a moment's break. I took a deep breath and pushed my self up and into a standing position, using the wall to lean against.

I wobbled for a moment before a well manicured pale hand appeared under my arm steadying me. I looked up into Sesshomaru's usually emotionless eyes and saw my determination reflected back at me.

I nodded and used his arm to limp a few steps forward until I had made my way the fireplace and was helped into a sitting position.

"Foolish but brave," said Tensen as he came back into the room smiling down at me with his pale blue eyes.

I blushed a bit but cleared my throat and was thinking up a reply when Tensen spoke again, "He is as you describe Lord Sesshomaru."

I looked up into Sesshomaru's eyes and watched as his lips twitched at the corners as though perhaps he were hiding a smile.

I was given a cup of tea which I enjoyed with Ayame as she sat and talked with Tensen and Koname, while we sat and talked Kouga returned with a few winter hares and a few squirrels which he skinned and quartered and passed to Ayame. Ayame put a few in a stew pot with some stored vegetables making a delicious winter soup. As the soup cooked she cut the remaining meat up and passed it around. I enjoyed the raw meat and when the soup was served I enjoyed that as well.

With my belly full I watched everyone else eat and enjoy food and friendship and fought the need to doze. I hadn't managed very well as I awoke to snickers. I blinked and wiped my eyes as I fought the sleep that wanted to pull me under once more. Between the cold, the comfort of the fire and the calm and quiet atmosphere and the drain of healing and a growing pup to top it off I was more than ready for a good sleep at a nap at the best.

"I know you're comfortable InuYasha but perhaps we should start tonight's procedure," and as the words left Tensen's lips I stiffened.

I sighed and shook my self off, "Best to not put it off…"

I muttered the words but I pulled my self together and took Sesshomaru's offered arm and used it to limp my way back over to my furs only to be turned around and steered back over to Kouga and Ayame's furs.

I gave Sesshomaru a questioning look that Kouga answered, "We can't heal you over there. If it worked the first time lets try for a second."

I found a blush coating my cheeks once more but I nodded and lay down on the furs. Ayame came to sit at my side once more with Kouga at my back and Sesshomaru at my waist. Koname shuffled closer with her supplies in hand and Tensen sat on the stool at my feet and gently lifted my foot into his lap and looked over my ankle with gentle fingers finding the broken bones and the most painful areas as one in the same. I felt Ayame squeeze my hand and I glanced up into her bright green eyes and closed mine as I felt Tensen position his hands.

Tensen pulled and the sounds of my bones cracking were loud in the now quiet room and I choked on the sounds that were forcing themselves from my body. He moved his hands to another sore spot and pulled again and this time he tore an agonized scream from my throat. I lay there gasping thinking it was over and then he twisted and pulled again cracking yet another set of bones and I felt nausea roll through me along with my aggravated pup. I found a bowl pushed before me just in time for me to lose my dinner.

I almost wished for the flashbacks and blacking out to this hellish torture for everyone to witness. I shivered and trembled and when the bowl was taken away I was helped into a laying position. I felt the painful throb of my ankle as the numbing salve was applied and then my ankle was wrapped and splintered and then rewrapped.

I was helped into sitting up just enough so that I could drink the tea offered to me. I drank it down after a few sips and was helped back down into a laying position. I felt Ayame's gentle hands running through my hair and gently petting my ears as I closed my eyes and felt the pain in my ankle all but vanish once more.

To Be Continued…

Sick but I forced my self to finish this chapter. Hopefully I'll have a chapter on Sunday. I have plans to celebrate the new year so Here's to a new chapter in the New Year.

Kat


	9. Chapter 9: Getting harder to hold up

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 9: Getting harder to hold up**

I found myself bathed in warmth and I didn't want to move. I snuggled deeper under the furs and I stayed there dozing contentedly as my pup moved and stretched and made its presence known. I finally decided to move when the warmth at my back disappeared causing me to shiver and move as two arms snaked themselves tightly around me preventing further movement.

I opened my eyes and found Ayame's arms wrapped tightly around me, squeezing me against her under the furs where we both huddled for warmth.

I watched her sleep deeply and I once again returned to slumber. When I awoke again I lay abandoned on the furs and chillier than I had wanted to be. I finally pulled myself from my nest of furs and blankets and sat up looking around. I wasn't surprised to see Koname and Tensen sitting around the fire drinking tea, I was slightly surprised to see Sesshomaru sitting with them.

"So you've finally awoken," at Koname's words I nodded and rubbed my eyes as I tried to fully wake myself.

I found a cup of tea thrust before me so I took it and sipped at it gingerly as I listened to the sounds around us; of the cave and its inhabitants and when I had finished my cup of tea I found myself surrounded by Koname, Tensen and Sesshomaru.

"Let's see how you've healed shall we," and so he began to peel back layers of bandages until he could remove the stints and just as he was about to remove the next layer Kouga and Ayame entered the room and came to join us.

They all had an eager excitement and hope that I might not have to go through another bone breaking experience while I myself just wanted to be finished with the whole ordeal and to be up and walking again.

As the bandages came off I looked down at my ankle and saw it was almost like it had been before. No lacerations or bruising, no bones sticking out at odd angles; just my ankle in its normal resting position. Tensen gently lifted and moved it in one direction and then the next and gently rolled it and set it on the floor and looked up into my wide eyes.

"Give it a wiggle," tell me if you feel any pain.

I did as he asked and finding none I dropped the blankets wrapped around my body and wiggled as I tried to get into a standing position. I was halted by two hands in front of my face; one from Kouga and one from Sesshomaru. I frowned at the offered appendages for a moment before I finally held out both my arms. They took them and gently pulled me into a standing position. I stood a moment, letting go of their hands and looked around the room.

"Come boys, give him some space," both Sesshomaru and Kouga did as Koname asked and I shuffled, taking one small step and then another until I was shuffling across the room. I turned around and even with my belly and the added weight I managed pretty well as I finally lifted my feet a bit more and walked back towards the bed furs. I didn't stop at the furs, I turned and walked back and grinned as I passed them and pushed past the bear fur hide that covered the room and inhaled deeply as I walked along the walkway and came to wide den where wolves and youkai stared at me in both surprise and amusement.

I kept going, not stopping as I came to the cave entrance. I sniffed and inhaled the smell of icy wind, snow and the smell of more snow in the atmosphere that was likely to fall soon. I looked down at my feet and stepped into the slush at the cave entrance and proceeded to walked through the snow looking around and walking just because I could.

I heard my name called and looked up to see Ayame holding out a thick fur cloak and beckoning me back inside the cave. I looked up and watched the fresh snow as it started falling covering the world around us further in white. I smiled and walked back to the caves entrance and came to stand before Ayame with a wide grin.

She tisked at me but gave me a smile as she wrapped the cloak around me, pulling it closed.

Everyone seemed to be grinning at me and I wrapped all that positivity around myself as I was lead back to my current quarters with Ayame and Kouga.

I was annoyed that I was asked to sit once more but I was made comfortable so that Tensen and Koname look my ankles and knees over once more. Finding nothing wrong Tensen gave me a clean bill of health while Koname still fretted over me.

"Don't go anything stupid like that again! Did'ja forget you were carrying?"

I shook my head and listened as she continued to admonish me knowing I deserved it but still I gave a small smile at her mothering.

When I was done being reprimanded like a young pup, Kouga saw Sesshomaru and Tensen off with promises to alert him as soon as I had birthed my pup.

That night after our bellies were filled I enjoyed a bathing and then soaking in the hot springs with Ayame and a few other pack members and upon returning to our quarters I sat on my abandoned bed in its small nook and began to make myself comfortable. I fell asleep listening to Kouga and Ayame playfully bantering.

I dreamed horrible things, horrible memories only to wake as two pairs of arms wrapped around me. I found myself once more sharing Kouga and Ayame's bed furs except I was on the side that Kouga usually occupied, this time Ayame lay in the middle with her arms over me and Kouga's crossing her body to rest on mine. I took a deep breath and allowed their warmth to lull me into sleep once more.

This happened two more times and each time I found myself back in their furs. On the third night I went to lay down and found my furs gone, I lowered my ears slightly upset and panicked until Ayame had called my name with a giggle.

I had turned and found that their fur bed had been made even larger if it was possible and Ayame patted the side I had been given at the left. I slowly made my way to the furs and lay down and no sooner had I laid down that I had Ayame snuggled against me and Kouga's arm slung above us, touching not just Ayame, by me as well. I fell asleep and slept peacefully through the night.

We had an odd sleeping arrangement and if others knew of it and disliked it they said nothing.

Two weeks came and went making my stay in Kouga's wolf pack a month and a half and in that time I eagerly awaited my pups birth while watching Ayame prepare for her and Kouga's firstborn's arrival.

I watched as Ayame's belly changed shape; going from a rounded shape to oblong as the pup began its decent into what Koname called "birthing position". Ayame began having cramps and pains that were on and off and had no rhyme or reason to it and then on a particularly warm day in midwinter her pains came in earnest and the whole cave seemed on edge.

I was lost as to what to do and when I made to sneak away Ayame beckoned me at her side. I felt odd and out of place among all the females in close quarter as Ayame paced for hours on end, stopping to stretch and rest only to continue on pacing.

Kouga had been sent out into the open den area with the other males to await the birth of his cub and as I witnessed Ayame's pain unable to do anything for her I longed to join him but if my presence brought her comfort I would stay. When her pacing had finally helped the cub to descend I was called over to hold her hand as she knelt on thick furs bearing down. She did as Koname commanded and bore into her pains and it was after one hard push that Koname gleefully cackled.

"Good girl Ayame! One more good push and we'll see if you have a son or a daughter."

Ayame gripped my hand hard enough to break bones as she bore down and cried out her pain. Ayame's cries of pain ended and she gasped, fighting to stay kneeling and we both watched as Koname lifted a newborn slick in mucus and other bodily fluids as it cried its first cries which echoed throughout the cave.

I grinned and so did Ayame as we both stared at what was definitely her son.

Koname grinned and handed Ayame her son, "Well done Princess, the Eastern tribe has its heir and prince."

Ayame's eyes were moist as she held her son to her chest tightly, quieting his cries and beginning the process of cleaning him off.

Once the cord had been clipped and the afterbirth had been delivered both Koname and I helped to clean up Ayame and get her settle into a clean robe and comfortable in the large bed of furs.

"I'll fetch Kouga," and both women nodded happily at my words.

I didn't have to go far. I found Kouga on his way to his quarters following the sounds of his newborn son's cries. I waited outside the quarter and watched Kouga enter and go to his exhausted mates' side. I watched as they shared a tender moment of staring down at the new little being they had both created with smiles and wondering showing on their faces. I quietly made my way to the public den and sat before the fire, my mind filled with many thoughts and my heart as achingly full as my mind.

Others had left me to my thoughts as I sat before the fire and watched the flames dance over the logs. I felt a hand on my shoulder and it caused me to jump.

I looked up into Koname's soft smile, "Do you need to talk little one?"

I frowned and then shook me head, "My thoughts are too muddled," I said in answer and she nodded giving me a kind smile.

"When they are un-muddled, you know where to find me."

I nodded and watched her go before returning my gaze to the flames before me. I sat there with my knees bent as close to my body as my overly large body would allow me. I sat like that until my pup stretched and began kicking painfully, unhappy at my position. I stood and stretched and made me way back to Kouga's quarters and quietly entered finding both Kouga and Ayame asleep with their son bundled in furs between them. I gave a small smile and quietly tugged a few furs aside and went to lie in my small nook; giving the new family their private space.

I lay down and wrapped myself in my furs and wrapped my arms around my belly and let exhaustion pull me into a deep slumber.

To Be Continued…

So I'm an idiot and somehow managed to get a paper cut on my eye…yeah…who knew bagging with paper bags could be so dangerous…LoL The look on the bosses face when I told him was priceless… been a fun few days.

Happy New Year Everyone~!

Kat


	10. Chapter 10: It comes in waves

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 10: It comes in waves**

I woke up as my world shifted and upon opening my eyes I found myself being pulled on my bed furs closer to Ayame and Kouga's larger grouping of bed furs.

Ayame giggled at Kouga who grinned with his accomplishment and put both of his hands on his hips as he stared down at me.

"You're an obstinate one aren't you muttface," Kouga asked as I blinked up at him confused.

"Come Yasha, we have named our son. Come see Ranken."

I sat up and crawled across the furs where Kouga knelt down beside Ayame. Ayame lifted their son with his tan skin and dark ebony hair with his long fluttering eyelashes and I saw in him a younger Kouga.

"What does his name mean," I asked as I gazed down on the quiet bundle of in the crook of Ayame's arms.

"Strong wolf shield. He will be the future of the eastern pack and he will be their shield," said Kouga proudly as he puffed out his chest.

I smiled and sat down carefully on my bottom as I watched the little one with such a big name nap, warm in his mother's arms.

"I must see to the pack, watch over my family Yasha," and I watched as he left, realizing that he hadn't called me muttface and instead had used Ayame's name for me.

"Do you want to hold him," my eyes widened at her question and as I looked down at him I felt as though he would break in my arms.

"He's so…small," I whispered.

She giggled and shook her head, "You need the practice. You're about to have one of your own."

She had a point and so I sat flat on my bottom and held my arms in the shape of a cradle as Ayame leaned over and placed her son into my arms.

He was so…tiny and so soft and he smelled of milk and something that was indescribable and could only be described as that "new baby" smell. I leaned over inhaling his scent and just lost in the wonder that was this tiny being. He stirred in my arms as I looked down at him and blinked open baby blue eyes. As I stared into those innocent eyes I wondered if they would turn to Kouga's cerulean or Ayame's green.

"Does his tail match his hair," I asked as I curiously stared down Ranken.

"He does, it's so small just like a newborn wolf cubs," she said with a smile only a proud mother could have.

I leaned over and carefully placed him back into Ayame's arms and watched her with him while my hands ran gently over my belly trying to settle my own offspring's, stirrings.

"Do you think your pup will have your ears," Ayame asked as she laid Ranken against her chest to nurse, which he did quite happily.

"I'm not sure; I haven't seen a wolf hanyou let alone the mix of a hanyou and a wolf. It would be quite interesting if my pup had the ears and tail to boot. Poor thing would stick out like a sore thumb," I said shaking my head.

"Oh, but they would be so adorable," she cooed with a faraway look in her eyes as though she were imagining my child with afore mentioned appendages.

I laughed for the first time in a long time and allowed the happy tears to flow. When I was done I grinned and fetched the kettle and made Ayame and my self cups of tea and got us a meal of deer jerky and stored apples. We ate and talked and when Ranken had fallen asleep he was laid between us in a bed of furs and the two us joined him in his nap.

Life for a short time was calm and happy and revolved around that tiny pup. A week became two and I found myself two months away from my own cubs impending birth. Nervous was an understatement as I thought on it.

The winter weather let up for a while and when I ventured to the cave entrance I could almost see the ground and grass hidden beneath the carpet of white.

I found myself heavy and exhausted and filled with aches and pains from my ankles; healed but now swollen with the burden of carrying my expectant weight, to my back and hips which ached fiercely. My hips seemed to widen as my body worked to ready itself for the impending birth. I paced the cave and tried to work off my nervous energy and everyone around me seemed to watch from a distance with baited breath for what I couldn't say; though I expected it was for me to give some sign I was in labor.

As I wandered the den late one night I heard whispers near the cave entrance and usually whispers and fire talk remained background noise and then they spoke a name I hadn't heard since my rescue.

"Kiba has been spotted a few miles from our territory," said one ranger I had come to know as Hiro.

"If he is spotted we are to tell Kouga immediately," said his fellow ranger; this one known as Raiga.

I felt my chest ache as panic fought its way through my mind, past all rational thought.

"InuYasha," I turned to see Ginta and the look on my face answered his unasked question as to how I had heard.

"Come on, lets get you to Kou," and as he said it I felt myself swallow and I nodded.

He walked beside me turning to look at the rangers who now sat quietly looking quite admonished at whatever look Ginta had given them.

As we walked I felt my stomach tighten as pain wrapped itself around my belly and pulled in my lower back. I stopped and wrapped my arms around my middle as my breath caught in my throat. I felt Ginta's arm on my elbow as he gently rubbed my back calling my name.

The pain let go and I took deep breaths as I stood and nodded my head and continued my slow waddle in the direction of my shared den. We had but a few feet to go when I felt the tug and tightening again. I inhaled deeply, leaning against the cave wall as I closed my eyes letting the pain roll over me. It soon ended and I felt Ginta's nervousness and as if I had summoned him, Kouga came rushing out of our den.

He looked at me and his mouth set in a grim frown as he came toward us. He came to stand at my side in place of Ginta.

"Go fetch Koname," and without a reply Ginta was gone.

I inhaled deeply as the pain ended and stood straight and made it the last few feet to the den. We entered and immediately Ayame was at my side with Ranken strapped against her in his fur sling.

I was lead over to my side of the furs and I was helped into a sitting position which increased my discomfort and when I the next pain came I laid down on my side and closed my eyes as I wrapped my arms around my swollen midsection and fought for breath, when the pain ended I exhausted and shaken and just a bit frightened.

Ayame's gentle hands patted my head and her long fingers played through my short white hair which helped to calm me some. I felt gentle hands on my belly and I looked down my body at Koname who gently pressed and prodded with a look of concentration on her usually cheerful visage. As she prodded a new pain began and my belly tightened once more and I clamped my eyes shut as the pain built and wrapped around my body.

"Don't fight it pup. Let it come over you. Think of this pain as a wave in the ocean, don't fight it, ride it."

Koname's words were confusing and I tried to do as she said.

"That's good. Don't tense if you can help it. Fighting the pain only makes its worse. Let it come and breathe through it. You've got it. Good, good."

As the pain ended she gently wiped my brow, "Now comes the uncomfortable part my dear. I'm going to need you to roll over so we can get these hakama off of you so I can see if we have any progress to go with this pain."

I did as she asked and watched as Kouga left the den to give me privacy as Koname parted my thighs and began to poke and prod. I hissed and closed my eyes at her uncomfortable prodding.

"You are dilating but not quite enough for this amount of pain you're having."

"Too…early…" I gasped out as I looked up and into her eyes.

"Not early enough for concern. I'll prepare you a special tea and if your pains stop then you will have time still til we meet your little one, if not then we will send word to your brother and we will prepare for a new member of the Eastern pack."

Her words took a weight off of my heart and my mind. She left the room and I lay there catching my breath as I fought to get comfortable. Ayame was kind enough to cover my lower body with furs and Kouga was invited back into the den. He paced the room every so often looking my way nervously.

Another pain came and wrapped around my body and as I breathed through it I felt Ayame's hand grip mine.

Koname returned with her tea and when my pain ended I was given the tea which I sipped gingerly until it was gone. Not much time went by when yet another pain rippled through my body and I sat up gasping at its intensity. I felt myself pale and I was handed a bowl just in time to vomit up the tea and whatever had been in my belly before it. I vomited until nothing remained and I was weakly laid back down onto furs that he been propped up for my comfort.

Pains continued through the night and Koname continued her checks and at her final check she shook her head and I lay there miserable, in pain and exhausted. She offered me a small dose of sleep draught hoping a light rest would allow me a bit of strength.

It worked and as I dozed off I couldn't help but stress at the thought of what was to come when I awoke.

To Be Continued….

Sorry for the cliffie. More to come tomorrow.


	11. Chapter 11: I close my eyes

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 11: I close my eyes**

I awoke as a deep gripping pain wrapped itself around my belly and lower and moaned into the pain as it grew. I lay on my right side with blankets tightened in my grasp and struggled to breathe through the pain until it ended.

What a way to wake up.

Koname's tea hadn't worked and my body was telling me that this pup was coming early and that I had no choice in the matter.

It was dim in the room as the fire had begun to die down and as I finally opened my eyes I saw that Kouga and Ayame slept beside me, their eyes closed in sleep with little Ranken between them. I must have slept at least a few hours if everyone had decided to sleep as well.

I slowly sat up as quietly as I could and when I was sitting up I took my time to quietly bring myself into a standing position. Once standing I stretched my aching back and hip and slowly paced the room. As another pain crested I did as Ayame had done and crouched and gently swayed my hips back and forth which did help with the pain and pressure which was now low and deep.

When it ended I had a deep urge to find somewhere quiet and hidden where no one would find me and as thoughts of a private den filled my head I shook myself mentally realizing I was letting deep rooted instincts take control. My inner Inu wanted a den, a private and quiet place to birth my pup but my human and youkai knew that I couldn't do this alone, too much was at stake, too much could go wrong.

I stood and began my quiet pacing once more.

I don't know how long I paced but as I did the pains began to get closer and closer together and the pressure in my lower body built until the only comfortable position I could find was on my hands and knees.

I looked over at Kouga and Ayame and though they were only a few feet away it felt like miles and I realized I should have woken then a while ago instead of being hardheaded and going through this alone and as I debated calling out to them an overwhelming descended on me as the pressure became unbearable and I felt something stretch further than it had before and a unholy burning sensation down below tore a whine from my throat that ended in a yelp.

I gripped the furs and fought for breath and watched as Kouga abruptly sat up looking around the den panicked. His eyes stopped on me and widened comically as he jumped up to come to my side.

"You idiot! Why didn't you wake us up," and as he asked I groaned and rocked my hips causing that burning feeling to increase with the pressure as another gripping pain took control.

I moaned and leaned forward, my head coming to rest on my arms as my body seemed to work against me. The room began to brighten and when the pain lessened for the moment I looked up and watched as Ayame tossed a few logs onto the fire place and stoked it, causing flames to rise and brighten the room. When she was done she came to kneel at my side.

"Kou, fetch Koname. His pup is crowning," and not soon after the words left her mouth my body cramped again.

"Don't fight it Yasha, push with the pain," Ayame gently rubbed my back and I inhaled and did as she said and felt that stinging and burning pain increase in my most private of areas and then the pressure lessened as I felt something burst and liquid ran down my thighs to form a puddle on the furs below me.

When Koname entered the room I heard her sigh in irritation, "This is why birthing males are the hardest to care for. Their too damn obstinate and choose to do everything on their own and without help."

Though she seemed irritated her hands were gentle as they probed and searched and I could hear the happiness in her voice, "Well you're at the final stretch my dear. That pressure is your pups head and it is out to the ears."

I lifted one arm and reached below my body as far as I could reach and even as another pain crested and I pushed into it I continued reaching until Koname guided my hand to the slimy rounded surface of my pups head as it left my body. The pressure ended momentarily as the head fully slipped from my body causing my body to jerk, tearing a gasp from deep in my throat.

"Good job little one! We're almost there. The hard part almost over, once you push those shoulders free the rest will follow."

My body shook and I returned my arm in its former position to help keep my body stable and give me enough leverage for my final bout of pushing.

My body cramped and I pushed with it and held my position as I felt the slide of my pups' body as it left my own. I partly collapsed against upper body fighting for my breath.

"Congratulations Yasha, you have a son."

I looked up into Ayame's shinning eyes and felt my own grow hot as they filled with tears that soon overflowed down my cheeks. I knelt there in awe as my pups cries filled the room louder than Ranken's had and oh so angry at having been evacuated from his warm home. Koname came to kneel in front of me, presenting me with my swaddled son who was red and blotchy and still covered here and there with mucus and body fluids but his birthing cord had been cut and he was free from my body but not my life.

I felt my bodies continued cramping until the remnants finally left my body causing me to shudder as they did so. I was given a light sponge bath and then helped into my warm bed furs and handed my son who was so small in the crook of my arms.

He was smaller than Ranken, almost feather light in arms. His cheeks were plump and his skin so soft and delicate. His hair was like my own, the pale white of moon light with an odd little grouping of deep auburn locks on the right side of his head. His fine eye brows and eyelashes matched his moonlight locks and were so tiny like the rest of him. His lips were bowlike and the softest of pinks that the poet in me wanted to compare to the shade of cherry blossoms. I gently pried his hands from his swaddling and counted each tiny finger on each hand and then each toe on each tiny foot. He was spared my puppy ears and instead was gifted with the pointed ears of a full youkai.

I gently turned him in my arms and saw that he had a tiny white wolf pup tail that poked out of the cloth diaper Koname had wrapped him in. I felt him nudge my chest, his lips making small smacking noises and so I did as I had seen Ayame do so many times with Ranken and I lowered my robe so that my chest was bared and gently maneuvered my son so my chest which had swollen months ago. He nuzzled and his tiny head wobbled and it took him a few tries before he finally latched on, suckling greedily.

It was an odd feeling to be a "mother". To know that this tiny little being needed me more now that he was in my arms and no longer under my heart. I felt Kouga's presence as he came to kneel at my side and I looked up and into his cerulean eyes filled with curiosity and wonder as he peeked over my shoulder at my nursing son.

"He's so small," as the words left his mouth he backtracked a bit, "Not that it's a bad thing. He'll be a tough little thing. I'll place bets on it."

Ayame laughed, "Well he is a month early so it's to be expected."

Kouga nodded dumbly as he continued staring, "Have you thought of any names," he asked softly.

I thought about it and as I looked down at my son I had made a list of names but now looking at the small one in my arms not one name seemed to suit him.

I shook my head, "I can't seem to find one that suits him."

Kouga nodded, "You have plenty of time to decide."

As I thought of more possibilities my little one finished nursing and Koname came over to help me gently maneuver my son against my shoulder so that I could pat and rub his back bringing forth any trapped air. With his release of pent up air there was a tiny bit of spit up but I was almost an expert at cleaning it up thanks to Ranken. I helped Ayame as often as she would let me and she had been right when she said it was practice for my own son. I wasn't an expert but I could at least say I knew more than I had before.

Koname took my son so that he could be given a proper washing which I watched from my place on the furs nervously.

It wasn't that I didn't trust Konam, I was now the nervous parent and oddly enough my arms already felt empty without him. When he was returned to me bundle in clean linens and swaddling I brought him against me and laid on my furs with him pulled against me as we both let the exhaustion of his birth pull us into sleep.

To Be Continued…

Okay, I have four names I'm fond of. Let's have a vote… which do you like?

Kibou – Hope

Masayuki – Elegant snow

Kazuyuki – Harmonious snow

Yuki'ren – snow lotus

Thanks for reading~!

Kat


	12. Chapter 12: Hold my breath

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 12: Hold my breath**

I awoke to the soft mewling cries of my newborn son and though he was crying and I knew I would one day despise the sound, today it was music to my furry little ears. I sniffed and found the issue right away, his first dirty diaper.

I sat up and looked around and found that Koname or Ayame had left me a pile of small diaper cloths by the side of the furs. I un-swaddled my him gently and quickly changed him and wiped him clean before re-diapering him like I had been taught with Ranken. Ayame had done me a great service by letting me hold and practice on her son, though it was a bit of a positive for her because she got a well needed break every so often.

Once my little one was changed I swaddled him once more and brought him into my arms and swayed him gently and his soft mewls soon stopped. My chest ached and looking down I found that I was swollen and beginning to leak. I hadn't been warned about this…

I opened my robe and brought my tiny son to my chest and just like the first time, it took a few tries before he finally latched on and began suckling heartily. I found myself lost in his tiny lips, plump cheeks, fluttering eyes and eyelashes and little movements; so lost that I hadn't realized that Ayame knelt beside me with Ranken in her arms as she too nursed her son.

"It's amazing isn't it," She asked with her bright smile.

I gently played with his fingers while he nursed and my heart felt like it had all but exploded with parental love as his tiny fist wrapped around my pointer finger, squeezing it as tightly as he could.

"It is, he is," I answered as I looked up into her gentle green eyes and smiled brightly back at her.

I spent that first day enjoying every little thing my son did and allowed my body to heal, which it did quickly now that I had no pup to grow and nurture within me.

Kouga made his rounds through the cave and stopped in to eat lunch with us before he went outside the cave with Ginta and Hakaku to make their rounds around the cave and the surrounding territory. It was something wolves and most youkai did often no matter the territory. You checked to make sure everyone and everything was safe and was as it was supposed to be and you marked your territory to remind those that dared to cross into your territory without permission that there would be repercussions.

I could only assume that Sesshomaru did the same since he was also a high ranking youkai, though the InuYoukai had greatly dwindled over the years; at least in Japan. I had heard there were many Inu Youkai tribes still in existence in other lands.

When evening came Ayame coerced me into finally leaving my bed of furs and go with her to bathe. It hadn't taken much, I was sticky with sweat and though I had a decent enough sponge bath I still felt grimy and dirty from the birth.

Kira and Sachi had joined us not that Kira strayed very far from Ayame and my self. Kira and Sachi were great helpers and friends. I was amazed by how long both Kira and Sachi's hair had grown. Kira's coppery locks were often pulled up in twin ponytails behind her head while Sachi's pale strawberry locks seemed to still be too short for such an endeavor, though when wet it was possible. Sachi had unbelievably curly hair, the tightest curly ringlets that were bouncy even when wet. It had been near impossible to tell when her hair was shorn to her head in Kiba's cave but now there was no denying those growing curls.

I had also began to notice that most of the wolves and youkai from Ayame's old pack had the red coloring in their fur and hair color and it went from pale strawberry blonde to the deepest of auburn that almost looked black until the light touched it, showing the crimson highlights. It also seemed more common for her pack members to have varying degrees of green. Sachi herself had hazel eyes that often changed with her mood, when happy they were the most gorgeous shade of apple green with a gold ring around the iris.

Kouga's pack was a dark haired pack for the most part though there were an equal number that had white locks or a mix of the two like Ginta. The eye colors in Kouga's pack also varied a bit more; from Kouga's cerulean to the pale blue of Koname's and then on to deep browns and dark ebony. Kouga's seemed to be more varied and now with Ayame's pack it would be interesting to see how future cubs turned out.

As we washed the chatter seemed endless, though it was pleasant so I couldn't complain.

"Have Ranken's eyes changed yet," asked Kira as she finished rinsing soap from her body and leaned over to stare at the sleeping babies in their baskets close together a few feet away.

Ayame grinned, "It's hard to tell since his eyes are just starting to lose that baby blue."

"I'll bet he'll get your eyes," said Sachi with a faraway look in her eyes.

"He would be a good mix of the two of you if he did get your green eyes," I said out loud.

I rinsed soap from my hair and ran my fingers through it, amused at how long it was growing since I had birthed my son.

"I'm amazed your son inherited your light coloring," said Kira as she stood and made her way over to the hot spring.

I stood and stretched before moving the baskets a bit closer to the hot spring as I too made my way over to it.

"All but that odd patch of red," I said as I stared down at my son before I stepped away and walked into the hot water.

"I hope he gets your eyes as well," said Kira.

As I sat down and got comfortable I looked across at Kira who had also settled into the comfort of the hot water.

Sachi and Ayame soon joined us in the water and in the conversation.

"I agree with Kira. Though it is no fault of your son's should he inherit his sire's eyes…," said Sachi with a shudder.

I thought back on how cruel and terrifying Kiba's fiery garnet eyes were.

It got quiet as Kira, Sachi and my self remembered those eyes and Kiba's cruelty.

"When I was a little girl I used to love Kiba's eyes. I hadn't seen him often but he was a kind and gentle soul and his eyes would warm you like the sun on a cold day," and as Ayame spoke you could see the sadness in her expression reflected in her expressive eyes.

"I was too little to understand pack politics and the only thing I knew was that something had happened between my mother and Kiba's. It was kept secret and Kiba's mother was exiled. Kiba had been spared, he was to stay with us."

Ayame's eyes got a faraway and it looked like she was fighting to recall old memories.

"Kiba had been caught helping his mother and they were both exiled. I can't seem to remember… I know that Kiba's mother was killed on our land and the last time I saw Kiba his eyes no longer reminded me of the warm setting sun."

"More like a blaze that will burn you from the inside and out," said Kira.

"Hell fire," both Sachi and I said at the same time.

We looked at each other and as we were lost in our thoughts and memories only the sound of the water echoing was heard.

I had learned more about Kiba but I still could not see why he thought it was okay to do what had been done to me and the others or a reason as to why Hana had to die.

I looked over at Ayame who seemed lost in her memories and looked upset.

"Don't dwell on it Ayame. Even when terrible things happen only a weak person lets it change them for the worse. I should know. A strong person can overcome it and better themselves."

She nodded at my words, a small smile returning to her lips and eyes.

That night after food was had and our sons had been fed and put to bed beside us we lay down only to be the last ones asleep. Kouga and the boys slept without a care while our minds seemed lost in the past. Sleep slowly came and as it pulled me into its warm embrace thoughts of a younger, kinder Kiba with sunlit eyes sauntered playfully through my mind.

To Be Continued….

Holy cow I had a hard time getting this chapter done. So far the results for the name are as follows:

Masayuki – lll

Yuki'ren – llll l

Kazuyuki - ll

I'll give it until tomorrow before I end voting and work on the next chapter. Also, I will probably make this story a little kouga/ayame/yasha. I added the label on the beginning info of the chapters but not on the story tag. The story was worked out but I've enjoyed writing for Ayame enough that it's where the muse is leading me. I'm not giving away any BIG plot surprises yet but YES, this will be a Kouga/Yasha story. Thank you all for the reviews, likes, Kudos and adds, it means a lot.

Kat


	13. Chapter 13: And let it bury me

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 13: And let it bury me**

I leaned over and playfully tickled my son's belly watching as he shook his tiny arms and kicked his tiny legs. He opened his mouth showing pink gums as he worked excitedly to express himself. I grinned down at him just as excited as he was at the game. I was so lost in our game that I hadn't realized I had company until someone spoke.

"He is as small as the wolf prince described," said the soft and yet inquisitive voice of my brother Sesshomaru.

I startled momentarily and looked over my right shoulder, watching as he came to my side and knelt down to look my son over.

"He was a bit smaller than this. He's grown a bit in over a week," and as I said it I gently booped my sons tiny nose.

"Have you given him a name yet," asked Sesshomaru as he leaned in and offered my son; his nephew a well manicured finger to reach for.

"I have decided on Yuki'ren," and I couldn't contain the nervousness at announcing his name even though I had spoken it softly.

"Yuki'ren…it is an interesting choice but seeing him I can see he will grow into it."

I was surprised to see the look of approval on his face as he stared down at Yuki'ren."

"Would you like to hold your nephew," I asked as I lifted him into my arms.

Sesshomaru looked surprised and I couldn't tell if it was the fact I had asked or that I had called my son his "nephew" out loud.

I didn't give him a chance to dwell on either, "Move your arms so that they're in the shape of a cradle."

Sesshomaru looked slightly taken aback but he did as I asked and I carefully transferred Yuki into his arms that were much larger than my own. He pulled Yuki in close to his body as if he were afraid his small body would somehow slip through his large arms.

"You don't have to be so tense. He may look fragile but don't let him fool you. They are so much stronger than we give them credit for. If you think about it, simply being born is quite the trying task," I turned around once more and saw Tensen standing there looking quite pleased as he watched us.

"I thought I should come to see how you were faring and I was of course quite excited to see the newest addition to the Inu youkai family," his pale blue eyes shone with his excitement though I was betting more at seeing my brother being so different from his usual self.

I'm pretty sure he would tell all his acquaintances back at the castle how the Great Lord Sesshomaru had not only played with a baby but held it as well.

"How is it living here? Do you find it to your liking," Sesshomaru asked as he momentarily took his eyes from Yuki to look into my own.

I was surprised at the question but I didn't hesitate in answering, "It is amazing. Everyone is very kind and helpful and they have become almost like family; Ayame and Kouga especially."

Sesshomaru nodded with a pleased look, "That is good to hear. The wolf prince said much about you in his letter. He says that they owe you quite a debt for saving his mates friends. He is quite happy to have dwelling with his pack. I will tell you that he has told this one, that should you want to stay here permanently he would have no qualms and be quite happy with it if it were what you wanted."

I wasn't surprised that Kouga had said as much but hearing it made my chest tight in a good way.

I cleared my throat, which seemed thick with emotions as I nodded, "I'm glad that I have a place to call home and not just with him and the pack. Thank you for offering as well. I'm still…healing and figuring things out. I don't know what the future holds but for now Yuki has a place to grow up and that is enough. Perhaps in the future we will travel or maybe something else will interest me."

Sesshomaru nodded and held out his arms offering Yuki back. He made sure Yuki was gently placed in my arms and was comfortable before he spoke further.

"You have come of age, the fact that you conceived proves that your heat had come upon you; probably without you even noticing."

At my blank look he continued on, "When demons are sexually mature, whether male or female we go into heats. It does not mean that you cannot conceive unless it is upon you, simply means that it is the easiest time to conceive and attract a mate."

"What is a heat," I asked as I rocked Yuki in my arms watching as his still baby blue eyes closed.

"For every demon it is different but from my personal experience it starts with aches and pains and often sensitivity in your body and mood. Often it feels like I am sick and my body feels heavy and overheated."

I had recalled feeling all of the above before Kiba's wolves had attacked the village.

"When Yuki is fully weaned you will go into heat again. It is perhaps two years or more you have but if you like I could help you find possible suitors if you find none among the wolf tribe."

I felt my breath catch and my eyes widen at his words.

He meant no harm and they weren't said cruelly. He actually said them as fact and in his own way he was trying to help. I fixed my expression and nodded.

"Thank you."

"Don't fret InuYasha. What your brother means to say is that he will take the role as leader in your family and see to it that you are taken care of but he will not force you into anything you do not want or approve of," Tensen said with eyes sparkling a little too much in my opinion.

He seemed to enjoy the discomfort and oddity of mine and Sesshomaru's social interactions a bit too much for my likes.

"You two are so much more alike than you realize," Tensen mused as he gazed at our expressions. I know I was fighting for neutrality but I'm pretty sure my annoyance at his enjoyment was showing because it was apparent on Sesshomaru's usually stoic features.

"I shall be on my way, I promised Rin I would visit her but first I will stop and see the wolf prince once more before I leave."

I stood up with Yuki sleeping in my arms to walk him and Tensen to the den's doorway.

"You can call him Kouga, pretty sure being called by his title is a little unnerving," I said with a grin.

Sesshomaru seemed to think on it and instead shrugged, "Perhaps one day…for now, wolf prince will do."

I shook my head and watched as he left, Tensen happily waving goodbye as he followed behind.

My brother and I had finally reached that point of odd sibling acknowledgement. It was sometimes odd, awkward and difficult but I enjoyed it.

That night Kouga had come to the den exhausted but excited to see Ayame and Ranken and oddly enough excited to see Yuki and my self.

"So I heard from your brother that you finally chose a name," he said and he looked slightly put out.

Ayame turned big excited green eyes in my direction, "Oh, tell us, tell us! You've been undecided for so long…."

I laughed, "He's only a week old. Some cultures wait longer than that to choose a name you know."

"Oh, quit stalling and tell us," grumped Kouga making me laugh at his expression.

"I have decided on Yuki'ren," and as I said it I patted Yuki's head from where he lay bundled in my lap starring up at me.

"That's quite a mouth full," said Kouga.

"Really, It's shorter than Sesshomaru or InuYasha," I defended.

"True…" Kouga admitted.

"I've been calling him Yuki for short," I admitted and at that Kouga gave a grin.

"Short and simple, that I can do."

Ayame rolled her eyes and as our energy wound down we lay on the furs with Kouga between us as we both nursed our sons and talked of the day's events.

I always enjoyed the evenings watching the quiet happiness in Kouga's eyes as he watched Ayame and she watched him with their son between them, physical proof of their love. I smiled and nuzzled against Yuki as I patted his back, helping him to bring up any air he had in his tiny body. Once he was settled I lay down closer to him and watched as his eyes closed and his breathing evened out in sleep.

I was happy, this for now was my happiness and upon looking up I saw both Ayame and Kouga's faces starring at me with the same deep love and happiness that they had given each other. Ayame leaned carefully over her son and Kouga and gave me a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"Good night, Yasha."

"Night," was all I could get out.

Ayame returned to her spot and gave Kouga a kiss on the lips before she settled down and closed her eyes. I was about to do the same when Kouga leaned over and did the same as Ayame; he placed a gentle kiss in the center of my forehead in the exact spot where Ayame's soft lips had been.

"Night muttface," was muttered and he too lay down and closed his eyes.

I lay there with my heart pounding and my face flushed. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts race until sleep claimed me as well.

To Be Continued….

Thank you for helping in choosing a name.

I've been up late working on this so I ended it in an odd spot with a hint as to where it's headed. Next chapter hopefully will be done tomorrow.

Kat


	14. Chapter 14: I'm not okay

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 14: I'm not okay**

Time always seems fleeting in the eyes of humans and as a hanyou I can say much the same. I had grown up caught between worlds and it was difficult to see everyone around me grow and change in what seemed days while I remained much the same.

Here in the caves among the wolves I had a sense of belonging and fitting in and almost normality.

As winter ended and the snow and ice melted everyone welcomed spring with open arms. It was nice to sit around and not have to wrap yourself in furs or blankets to be comfortable. Mated and unmated wolves felt the call of the spring, young and old alike felt the call of the spring and so they pounced and played and flirted with the intent to pair up and mate.

The pairs that formed and bonded were as diversified as wolves in Kouga and Ayame's packs. I wasn't surprised to see Ginta and Hakaku constantly sniffing and rubbing against each other exchanging nips and licks out in the open and I wasn't even surprised to see Kouga and Ayame acting like young pups even with Ranken around them. I was a little surprised to see Kira and Sachi acting much the same as Ginta and Hakaku with the gentle nips and licks and tender touches.

I found myself oddly amused and at the same time the odd man out. I watched from the sidelines and cared for Yuki'ren and as of late Ranken as well. I often offered to care for the bundle of adorable energy that was now going on four months old. Right now caring for him and Yuki was pretty simple. Neither could crawl just yet, they both could coo and babble and support their own head weight. They offered dazzling baby smiles and sweet interest in everything I did.

Ranken's eyes had begun to change from blue to a beautiful pale green that sparkled as much his mothers eyes. Yuki'rens eyes had lightened and were almost a silvery blue and I hoped that meant they would be gold, though oddly enough his left eye was slightly darker.

There was a room in the den dedicated to the care of the young and I found myself there with a few of the single pack members whose job it is to care for the young. Often it was the lowest pack members, the elderly or those too young to help with hunts or too young to participate in the mating that was taking place all around us.

Every morning I left the furs and den that I shared with both Ranken and Yuki in my arms and headed to the den. I would appease Ranken and Yuki by nursing both in the midday and when the evening came Kouga or Ayame and sometimes both would come to fetch us and we would make our way back to our den and our shared furs.

It had only taken a week for things to settle down and for the new pairs to settle in to new dens which were dug out up and down the mountain with help as Kouga's pack expanded further.

Though public displays had lessened what happened in the privacy of your own den was something completely different.

I often pretended not to notice the caresses and lingering touches exchanged between Ayame and Kouga and I tried to stay far from them, giving them their space. Though I tried it didn't seem to bother either of them. I often found myself sandwiched between the two of them an innocent victim of a touch here and a grope there. They had been particularly "affectionate" today.

I had decided to wear a lighter yukata that Sesshomaru had left for me in a deep shade of red with a pale blue obi. It was airy and easy to push down for nursing. I brought Yuki to my chest to ease his fussing. Ran continued fussing and as I looked up I saw Ayame was busy finishing up some sewing on the bed furs. Kouga lifted his son rocking him but it did nothing for his hungry cries.

"Bring him here."

Kouga looked down at me surprised but did as I asked. I shrugged my yukata further open so that my other milk swollen nipple was exposed. He passed me Ran and I cradled him, directing him towards my body. It took him no time at all to latch on and feed.

Kouga and Ayame knew I fed their son but upon looking up I saw identical looks of surprise, awe and something that oddly resembled want. I found Kouga's cerulean eyes unnerving and blushed as he continued to watch his son nurse at my chest. Yuki finished first and I gently patted his back one handed until finally Kouga took him from my arm and lifted him, helping to burp him.

Yuki burped and Kouga chuckled rocking my son gently in his arms. I watched as Yuki blinked owlishly up at Kouga, his eyes closing and then blinking opening and repeating until finally they closed in slumber. I expected Kouga to lay him down on my furs but what he did with Ayame's assistance is make a bed of furs in my old sleep nook where he laid him down for his nap.

As I lifted Ran to my shoulder and patted him my thoughts ran rampant. I had no time to react as Ayame put away her sewing and came to stand next to me holding out her arms. I handed her Ran and she leaned over placing a gently kiss on my forehead.

"Don't look so worried, Yasha. The boys are old enough to start napping on their own. Besides they won't be far from us," Ayame spoke softly and smiled down at me leaning over once more to place a kiss on each cheek and then my lips.

My face felt hot and I knew I must have been as red as a tomato as I panicked looking over at Kouga where he stood a few feet away. I turned to watch Ayame gently bounce and rock Ran as he too began to fall into a milk laden nap. When Ran was asleep he was laid next to Yuki among the furs in the small nook and both were covered with a light sheet.

Ayame came to stand in front of me offering me a hand up. Once I was standing she didn't let go of my hand and instead lead me over to the furs where Kouga stood with an anticipatory and predatory gaze. I felt my breath catch in my throat as I came to stand in front of Kouga. Ayame continued holding my hand as Kouga leaned down, gently taking my face between his two hands and leaning in close. I closed my eyes as my heart beat frantically. I gasped as I felt his warm lips against my jaw which he nibbled and licked, making his way to my lips which he nibbled and and sucked on before he pressed his lips against mine.

Ayame's hands played along sides in such and soft playful way that when she finally brought them to my waist where they wandered lower I gasped, finally allowing Kouga's mouth to plunder mine fully; his tongue darting into my mouth and delving deeply. Ayame's hands made their way under my yukata and worked my fundoshi loose so that it fell to the floor. I opened my eyes starring into those heated cerulean depths as he pulled back. He stepped back and watched as Ayame came to kneel in front of me with her hands on my thighs pulling me in closer to her.

I felt her hands on my length pulling gently bringing it to her mouth as she nibbled and licked and finally it was engulfed in the warmth that was her small mouth. I gasped once more and mewled as pleasure overwhelmed my body. Kouga grinned then and I watched out of the corner of my eye as he circled and came to stand behind me. I felt his hands play along my shoulders and chest, stopping to caress and playfully pinch and tug at my sensitive and swollen nipples.

I swayed and came to lean against his muscled chest while Ayame's gentle hands still played along my thighs; one gentle hand cupped and massaged my sac while her talented mouth continued to suck and nibble my length. Kouga's hands wandered lower as he lowered himself into a kneeling position. They're hands touched along my thighs and I looked down watching as Ayame released me and instead took Kouga's offered fingers into her mouth, sucking nibbling them like she had my length until they were slick with saliva.

I watched as those fingers retracted and then I felt my self spread and if there had been a trace of panic it was chased off by Ayame who returned to her earlier task. I was lost in the sensation of warmth and then I felt a digit circle my entrance and push its way in. I gasped and writhed but Kouga gently ran his hand along my thigh as I adjusted. I felt him move it in and out in tandem with Ayame until Ayame took a break to stare up at me with her mischievous and lust filled green eyes. She watched and I felt a second finger join the first and I shook my head frantically as she palmed my length at the same time as a finger hooked deep inside and hit something that caused lights to dance in my vision.

I started swaying and Ayame backed up a few feet and then gently held out her hands which I took so that she could help me into a kneeling position on the furs, a position that gave Kouga a better view and an easier position in which to plunder my body.

Ayame removed her fur pelts and lay down before me barring her and as she did so I saw her inner most parts. I leaned in closer and did as she had done to me. I gave a tennitive lick along her thigh and worked closer and closer until she finally spread herself for me.

I had been with Kikyou in the marital way as well as Kagome, this was not foreign territory and so I leaned in and began to lick and nibble and suck until she moaned and writhed. I felt a third finger enter me and Kouga began a rhythm rocking my body forward into Ayame, hitting that bundle of nerves deep inside my body causing me to gyrate against Ayame. Finally I felt Ayame shake and she practically screamed out my names as we both came.

I felt Kouga's fingers leave my body and I fought to stay on my hands and knees over Ayame as I collected my breath. Kouga came around and leaned in licking along my jaw and lips before his mouth covered my own in a searing kiss. He pulled back grinning and licking his own lips before he went over to Ayame and caught her in a searing kiss. I watched them kiss when they parted Kouga leaned over and whispered into Ayame's ear so softly that not even my sensitive ears could pick up any of the words.

Kouga sat up and I watched as Ayame knelt on the furs before me. I sat back on my haunches and watched as Kouga beckoned me forward and as I did so I felt myself grow hard again as I realized what they both wanted. I knelt behind Ayame and slid my length into her warm and slick body and felt my eyes close as pleasure threatening to take me over the edge too soon.

I watched as Kouga grabbed a jar of scented oil before removing his furs and armor revealing is length; large and engorged. As I looked him I could easily say he was larger than Kiba in both length and girth. I watched as he took those oil slick fingers and slid them along his length coating it liberally and then he left my line of vision. I felt his hands grab a hold of my bottom and part it and then I felt that hot and hard flesh slowly push its way one painful inch at a time into my opening. I gasped and fought the burning friction but felt myself pressed deeper into Ayame as he pressed into me. I had a moment to gather myself as I felt my self filled to capacity and trapped in delicious heat at the same time.

I felt that length and girth leave me just as slowly he pulled me back and I felt my length pull out of Ayame and then just as sudden I was slammed into and thus I slammed into Ayame. It was Kouga who set the pace as his body pistoned in and out of my own, causing me to do much the same to Ayame. With each slam those nerves were hit and I rubbed against that spot deep inside of Ayame and as Kouga neared his end we began to find our second release. Ayame was pushed over hers first as she gripped me deep inside and writhed moaning and gasping out both of our names. I fought my release as long as I could and then Kouga grew larger inside of me and I felt heat fill my body and that sent me over the edge as I too filled Ayame with my seed. I shook in my need to collapse but I didn't want to crush Ayame with mine and Kouga's joined weight.

Kouga eventually pulled himself from my body and came to lie on the furs leaving space between himself and Ayame. I writhed inside of her as my sensitive body came once more as did Ayame and we both shuddered and when I was freed from her body I collapsed beside her gasping for breath and thinking I had died and gone to the next life.

Ayame giggled and came to wrap her arms around my body and Kouga chuckled doing the same so that I was wrapped in their arms, their comfort and their love.

"You are ours now," said Ayame breathily.

I felt my eyes widen as I looked back and forth between them.

"Don't tell me you never noticed," asked Kouga.

I must have looked as confused as I felt and finally Kouga gave a deep sigh, "You really are quite dense aren't you?"

"Kouga and I have been telling others you were off limits since the spring started. You were quite popular among the young and unmated. Now no one will doubt you are claimed as we said so," said Ayame snuggling against me and smiling.

"You are ours until you choose not to be. You are free here but I want you to know that you are loved and will be cared for so never doubt yourself or your place in this pack. It's not unusual for pack leaders to take on more than one mate," said Kouga as he sat up slightly and began stretching.

I nodded and my mind filled with thoughts and then I felt Ayame sat up frowning down at me.

"I think he needs further convincing," she said and as she said it I felt Kouga lean over me kissing Ayame soundly and then they parted and covered my face in kisses.

The spent the rest of the afternoon convincing me and we bathed and had dinner, caring for the boys and when not came they spent that evening up into the early morning "convincing me".

I must say…I was convince and then some.

To Be Continued…..

So rusty when it comes to straight sex but I think I did okay.

More to come tomorrow.

Thanks for reading~!

Kat


	15. Chapter 15: And it's not alright

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 15: And it's not alright**

Spring had turned into summer and with the summer came the insufferable heat.

My time was split between caring for both Yuki and Ran and helping to keep the den clean and straightened. Ayame had returned to the hunters and helping Kouga with pack politics and so I happily nursed my son and hers. I hadn't birthed Ran but he was a son of my heart. Ran was already six months and he was already crawling on hands and knees and trying his hardest to get up and walk on his wobbly legs. Yuki watched after him and was just beginning to crawl at five months. He tried to follow Ran everywhere and oddly enough it seemed as though Ran would wait for him sometimes, cooing and babbling as if telling Yuki "come on" and "you can do it".

Everyday Ran's eyes turned more and more green and I watched as Yuki's lightened even more though his left had oddly stayed darker than his right. His right eye had begun to develop specks of gold around his iris and I noticed that his left had specks of copper.

Other than the pups growing I found my life I the caves fun and interesting with each new day. So far I had seen winter, spring and after the summer I would have been with the pack for a year. I felt elated and happy and I each day brought new excitement.

Summer in the caves was an odd time, time schedules seemed to change. Everyone, especially the actual wolves themselves spent most of the day sleeping or trying to. The heat made everything harder to do and even the smallest task felt monumental. Cubs and youngsters were especially moody and barely tolerable. Instead of doing what needed to be done in the hot midday son everything halted and naps were had by all until the sun set. We all became a bit more active at night. Cubs were given permission to be up later and play under the protective eyes of those in charge of their welfare and the hunting parties did their hunting under the stars of night. The cooler evening left even the hottest of tempers cooled.

One of the hottest tempers as of late was surprisingly Ginta's. The poor guy was suffering through morning sickness and other aches and pains due to his early pregnancy. Hakaku was very patient and bent over backwards for his cranky mate and I was glad I hadn't had such a difficult time in my early months. I suppose I had enough on my plate at the time that even if I had such a difficult time I probably wouldn't have noticed.

On nights when Ginta was feeling up to it, he would watch the boys and I was allowed to follow on the hunt. It was invigorating to stretch my legs and run with Ayame, Kouga, Hakaku and the others along side the wolves. We would use ears, eyes and nose to find prey and as a group we would hunt and capture our prey. I had helped to easily bring down boars and large deer, enough that we often feed the pack and had leftovers to make into jerky. Kouga swears the pack is fattening up with my help.

To run alongside Ayame and Kouga was amazing. To see the cues and looks and learn their meanings as we cornered prey or surrounded it to go in for the kill was like getting to know a new side of them.

As summer came to an end I watched a few of the gangly wolf pups born in the summer walk with the adults now learning just as I was how to hunt or watch younger cubs. Those young wolves replaced older wolves which we lost two of in the hot summer month. We had gathered around their graves on the right side of the mountain and howled our grief to the heavens.

Fall came in a flurry of breezy weather and Sesshomaru visited once more, dropping off a newly made firerat robe made in the crimson color I had worn for years. When he handed it to me I found myself lost in a quiet grief and oddly relieved as I realized the familiar scent of our father and my mother somehow resided on this newer one. Sesshomaru surprised me further by informing me that he had found my torn robe in the abandoned wolf cave and made certain to find the finest weavers and sewers to make sure that my robe was as close to its original shape if not better.

At that I hugged my crimson firerat robe to my chest and allowed the tears I had held in to fall freely down my cheeks and onto my new robe. Sesshomaru patted my head letting me know he understands and that my words were unnecessary.

He also gifted Yuki'ren with a matching robe which did nothing to end my tears. It was large on him but he would grow into it and with it came the promise he would provide larger sizes as Yuki himself outgrew it. I was even more surprised at the presents he presented to Kouga, Ayame and Ran.

He had brought Ayame a pretty kimono in pink and white with morning glories blooming along the hem and a deep green sash to match her eyes. He gave Kouga a gift of a fine sword with a promise to one day practice with him or as Sesshomaru put it, "This one will spar you and see if you were graced with the talent to wield it". I promised Kouga I would spar with him and show him what little I knew. Ran was given a firerat robe as well in a deep shade of golden yellow. He left us also with new water pots, some gifts of pastries and treats with a promise of a visit in the winter.

Like always Sesshomaru left like he came; quietly with little to no words needed to express him self and no needed in thanks though we gave them anyway.

As leaves fell around us Ran and Yuki both learned to stand and take little toddling walks through the den and cave with assistance. They also were allowed to have meat if it had been chewed to mush by the adults at meal times. It was amusing to see Ran be so adamant with his father like an angry baby bird babbling and saying "Too too" patting Kouga's leg opening his mouth as he asked for softened food.

Ran was certainly his father's son, demanding but almost regal about it with just an air of snottiness that I noticed came with those of regal birth.

Yuki was quieter and seemed to take the softer route with gentle pats and patience. As I watched him I wondered just where his patience came from.

I had become "Chew way" instead of ChiChue to my little Yuki and I was amused that he insisted on calling Kouga "Too too" along with Ran and even more amused that he called Ayame "okaa". I realized that he had recognized them as parents much like my self. I felt my heart grow to bursting when Ran had called me "Chew way" as well and more embarrassed at the smiles I received from Kouga and Ayame when I cried over being called that that way.

The fall was amazing and as I felt winter around the corner I couldn't fight the feeling that something bad loomed in the darkness, that things would soon come crashing down around us and that my happy fairytale would soon come to an end. I hoped and prayed that I was being ridiculous and that my mind was my own worse enemy.

To Be Continued….


	16. Chapter 16: Won't you drag the lake

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 16: Won't you drag the lake**

Winter came and with it the hustle and bustle of the pack quieted some. Old and young alike slept longer. The young seemed to be the most energetic of the pack as the meandered and wandered the caves and their many passageways in search of something new, interesting and entertaining. The biggest excitement thus far had been the discovery of a room filled with crystals that reflected beautifully in torch light. We made it a play land of sorts and often escorted the cubs there where we all took turns telling stories and legends by torch light. What had started out a group of rowdy and bored cubs soon became a group filled with all ages. We learned from tales of heroes and villains and laughed with life lessons and comedy.

Dinner was often stored vegetables and dried meat cooked into stews and soups served with rice or porridge. Bellies were filled along with mind and spirit and that was all we needed. At night I would snuggle into bed with Ayame and Kouga and in the middle of the night we were often joined by Ran and Yuki.

Soon Ran turned a year old and with that celebration we tried to be stricter when it came to nursing though I was never one to say no once tears began to form in his bright green eyes. I had the same problem when Yuki turned a year old the month after.

Weaning was rough business and I was weak to my little ones tears. I helped ease his hunger with sweetened boiled oats or softened rice with a bit of honey. Eventually I had all but weaned Yuki and it was a bittersweet moment when I realized my milk had dried up.

As Spring came our sons grew even more and soon they toddled around talking in short sentences enough to understand what they wanted, what they had seen and who they had saw.

After three long months the weather finally cleared and all traces of winter had vanished with the snow and in the first week of spring Ginta had birthed his and Hakaku's first cub. They were now the proud parents of a beautiful baby girl with tufts of ebony hair with two patches of soot gray amidst the front strands. Ginta took to mother with as much grace and dignity as I had and he glowed with it. Hakaku fawned over his small daughter and seemed to grow more mature with her birth. He named their daughter Haruna and the cave welcomed her with open arms. It was surprising that she was the only new birth from the many couples that had joined last spring.

As with last spring we all felt that familiar call once more to join and mate and though we did I knew neither I nor Ayame would conceive this year since we had just freshly weaned our little ones though that hadn't stopped us from acting like crazy lovers in the midst of heat.

With the pups weaned we were able to leave them with the other young wolves in the den of pups with others to look after them while we were given small breaks during the day to act like fools in between our daily menial tasks.

We stole moments of quiet pleasure time when we could and it amused me to see who would pull me aside and when.

Ayame would usually snag me in small nooks or crannies for small pleasures, often kisses and hugs and sometimes much more. Kouga was rougher and more often than not he would pull me aside for a quick romp. Though those moments were amazing my favorite time was when I had them both in those shared moments of pleasure. Kouga was majestic and strong with his movements and Ayame was soft and gentle and together they were beautiful.

In moments of passion when they were lost in each others arms and I was able to watch them as the made love I though it was a beautiful sight. I was lost in them and often lost in my own thoughts as well.

I often wondered what they saw in me. I was this broken hanyou who was more work than I was worth and yet as I thought these negative thoughts, lost in what I wasn't they embraced me and everything I was.

To turn not just one but both of their eyes was something I couldn't wrap my mind around. They always looked at me like I was some pure being of light and purity and not the dirtied and broken creature I felt I was.

They would both utter words like "beautiful", "mesmerizing" and "amazing" and for a short time I felt like I was everything they described and more.

I said those words and many more to them and about them and each word out of my mouth was my way of letting them know how felt about them in case my actions weren't enough.

Though I had been loved thoroughly in and out I still couldn't' explain why I felt so scared of losing them, of losing this moment of happiness.

"Please don't make that face, Yasha."

I turned to look into Ayame's eyes and smiled giving her a questioning look.

"One day we will convince you that those worries deep inside your head and heart are just that, worries," and as she said it she kissed my nose, my cheeks and finally my lips.

Kouga leaned over and kissed Ayame in the same fashion she had kissed me and then kissed my lips and smiled at my sappy smile as I looked up at them.

We dressed and grabbed our cubs before we hit the spring to bathe. I had just finished washing Yuki and was about to step into the water with him when howls rent the air. Kouga stood and threw on his furs running from the room. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and I wrapped Yuki in a clean yukata before dressing my self hastily and waited as Ayame did the same. Once she and Ran were dressed we rushed to the communal area where many of the pack were already gathered. The commotion had all but calmed and as I looked around I took a mental roll call of who was present. It only took a few minutes for me to realize that the ones that were missing were the ones who were called in to patrol the borders as well as combat enemies. Ginta came to sit beside us with little Haruna snuggled in his arms.

It was quiet, even the little ones lost in the tension of the gathered crowd as we waited to see why an alarm had been raised. As an the first set of wood on the pile burned to ash another was added and too soon that pile had become ash and so another was added as time went by the gathered crowd slowly dispersed with the exception of the elders and those of us who had loved ones who were out on the prowl.

The sun was just beginning to set when a new set of howls rent the air and this time joyous ones, meant for celebration.

Ayame gently set her hand atop Ran's head, "Stay with Yasha. I'll be back."

Ran nodded and crawled into my lap along with Yuki who snuggled further into my embrace as howls and yips excitedly echoed from the caves entrance.

I watched as Koname passed me with a gentle pat to my head, Shizuka at her heels. They exited the cave and I waited with baited breath, my nerves taught and my body stiff with nerves.

Shizuka made a swift entrance into the cave and stopped before me momentarily; her body trembling, her eyes almost haunted looking. She looked down and hastily walked past me and into a deeper part of the cave.

Koname slowly entered the cave and as she did so I watched her along with those gathered, as if we waited to here some horrible news. She made her way to my side once more and looked down at me with sympathy so thick it was almost palatable.

"Kouga has asked for you to join him out front. I can take the youngin's."

As the words left her mouth I felt it as a command more than a request and with a tight chest, dry mouth and heavy limbs I stood and placed a kiss on both Ran and Yuki's foreheads.

"Be good for Koname-baachan."

The words sounded hollow and worried even to my own ears I could only imagine how they felt watching me leave with such strange words and odd body language but they nodded and stood grabbing onto the hem of Koname's robes.

I turned and walked the short distance to the cave entrance and wolves and youkai parted to let me through. I felt many pairs of eyes on my back as I came to a circle of wolves and the hunting party. They stood tight and packed in letting me know that someone or something lay hidden from my sight inside it. When I came to stand at the edge of the circle Hakaku and Ayame approached me with serious looks which seemed foreign and unnatural.

As they stood by me the circle opened and I took a deep breath and entered that circle.

There in the center stood Kouga holding what looked to be a rope made of woven leather that he held tightly in both hands. I followed the rope and saw that at Kouga's feet knelt a dirt and blood covered person. As I looked closer I realized that it was not a person…not it was a youkai. I stared into that bloodied face and fought to recognize this creature that seemed to have earned Kouga's anger. No, not anger; as I looked into Kouga's cerulean eyes I saw pure and unadulterated rage.

Kouga let go of the rope with his right hand, maintaining hold with his left. With his freehand he reached down and grabbed a handful of oily black locks fisting them tightly and tanked on them cruelly so that the creature was forced to display his throat in submission as well as forcing him to look up. It was then I saw those deep brown eyes and I knew who Kouga had caught.

There on the ground at Kouga's mercy was Tobe, beaten and bloody.

His eyes settled on me as I looked at him lost in memories and yet his filled with confusion as he looked upon me and then they widened as I watched recognition fill them along with a small bit of fear.

"Do you recognize this wolf youkai, InuYasha," Kouga called out loud enough that all in the clearing could hear.

I swallowed and nodded and finally finding my voice, "He is Tobe."

"And this Tobe is who or what to you," and it was then I noticed Sesshomaru among the fray who stood by watching me with the others.

As much as I wanted to not have this become I spectacle I knew that it had to be. It didn't mean I had to like or enjoy it.

"Tobe is one of Kiba's pack members," and as the words left my mouth I felt vile rise in my throat.

"Was he just a pack member," asked Kouga.

I felt Ayame come to stand at my back but and I fought the urge to back away from this crowd.

"He was his right hand."

"And what did he do as his right hand," asked Kouga and I felt him trying to pry the words from my throat trying to get me to say more.

I closed my eyes and I felt a whine building deep in my body and I took a step back only to feel Ayame's hands on my back holding me in place.

"Tell them Yasha, make this a punishment, not a murder."

Her words were whispered against my back and I felt my heart clench and my eyes grew hot as I allowed the words to leave my mouth, "He abused, beat and tortured those captured by Kiba. He had first choice…."

At that Kouga growled and yanked that fist full of hair high so that Tobe fought not to choke on the leash that still held his body towards the ground.

I watched as Kira and Sachi both came to stand at my left side, their hands clasped tightly.

"An eye for an eye, a crime for a crime."

As the words left Kouga's mouth howls sounded around us in agreement and Kouga whistled and Hakaku stepped forward holding out a dagger.

I looked at the dagger presented and felt my insides turn cold. Sweet and talkative Kira walked forward hand in hand with Sachi and I watched as it was Sachi who let go of Kira's hand and took the dagger and unsheathed it raising it high. She came to stand in front of Tobe and fisted a handful of his dirty ebony tresses in her small hand and ran the dagger through them. She held the shorn locks high before tossing them to the ground. She did this twice more before handing the dagger to Kira who finished the job of shearing Tobe until his head was a mess of uneven shorn locks.

They handed me the dagger and I stared at it almost horrified as I stared down at Tobe where he knelt humiliated. Kouga raised the hand holding the rope again exposing Tobe's neck. I knew what needed to be done and yet I felt my self hesitate. I looked at his neck and backed away dropping the dagger. No one uttered a sound or word and as I looked at Tobe I saw not the man who had done such horrid things to me, I saw myself bound and helpless and it made me sick to my stomach.

Sesshomaru took pity on me and stepped forward raising his sword high, "For what you're crimes against the youngest son of the Inu Youkai tribe and to those we call ally I shall take what is owed," I watched as his sword sliced through the air silently. It was as if nothing he been done but then Tobe's body fell to the ground, his head falling a moment later and with a grace only Sesshomaru could pull off he wiped his blade clean and sheathed it.

Howls rent the air and I stood there feeling lost. I didn't feel any better nor did this bit of revenge change anything. I felt slightly safer with Tobe's death but I knew that Koba still roamed free and that thought alone made me shudder. I felt myself gently pulled past the crowd as howls chorused through the circle and soon a circle of wolves gathered around the fallen body.

I tried not to think about the sound of tearing flesh and the crunching of bones. I was better off not knowing how they wild canines disposed of the body.

I was lead back into the cave and past the main den. I realized I was being lead to my own den. I didn't fuss or argue; I let them lead me into our den and our shared furs. I didn't look to see who had led me I merely sat and covered myself as I shivered from a cold that had nothing to do with the actual temperature. I lay there lost and then I felt the small bundle of energy that was Yuki cuddle against me and I closed my eyes holding him to my heart and I inhaled the scent of milk, pine, fresh grass; his smell.

I was amused that as I lay on my side I soon had not one cub to fill my arms but two. Two snuggly little bundles of happiness to warm me and my heart. I held them like the tiny lifelines they were and closed my eyes. I lay there as Yuki and Ran napped and napped on and off with them. At some point I found myself the center of a puppy pile with the boys in my arms, Kouga at my back and Ayame at my front with their hands joined over me. It was warmth, it was happiness, it was what I had in this moment and that was enough for now.

To Be Continued….

Sorry, super sappy tonight. More tomorrow if all goes well.

Kat


	17. Chapter 17: And bring me home again

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 17: And bring me home again**

They say that time flies when you are truly happy.

I had to agree. One year had turned into two and two into three and three into four. It was Yuki and Ran's fifth spring and the two were no longer little bundles of baby fat, drool and milk. Ran was growing by leaps and bounds and now stood past my knees. He had his father's height but luckily his mother's demeanor. He was loud when he spoke like most children and he was full of energy. His eyes were full green and shined with the same twinkle as his mothers. His grin was all Kouga's with his little fangs popping out when he smiled or grinned widely and he had this adorable habit of crossing his arms just like Kouga. Ayame and I couldn't help but hide our laughter when he did it. His long black locks were pulled in a high ponytail much like his fathers, who he seemed to idolize just like any boy when it came to their father.

My Yuki was Ranken's complete opposite.

Yuki'ren was still a small thing and barely came to my knees. His skin was barely sun kissed unlike Ran who had a healthy tan like most youngin's who spent their days outside under the sun until they were called in for the evening. Yuki's pale locks had grown and so had that bright auburn red streak, though it was no wider than three finger widths it stood out in his moonlight colored locks like a drop of blood on the snow. He often mimicked me when it came to styling his mane of wild pale locks unless I insisted he braid it or put it up to keep it from getting tangled or caught in bushes and trees as it often did. His eyes were as beautiful as they were odd. His right eye was the same golden shade as my own where his left was a deep garnet. That eye seemed to always catch everyone's attention and it seemed that Yuki had noticed and so he had taken to pulling his hair forward to cover as much of that eye as possible.

It hurt my chest to see him acknowledge that he was somehow different or that it bothered him at the tender of age of five and so every time he did it near me I would make sure to pull him into my arms and move aside his pale locks to place kisses around that beautiful eye he wanted to hide so badly.

Yuki was a quiet thing and usually only spoke when spoken to. He was yin to Ranken's yang. I was glad to see the two as thick as thieves and as tight as siblings should be. It was also nice to see that they each had their own likes and dislikes.

Even though spring had come and mating season was just beginning I found myself itching for other more strenuous activities. I had coerced Ginta and Hakaku to spar with me as often as possible. We often did hand to hand sparring and when I wanted a difficult spar I had both of them spar with me at the same time. It amused the cubs to see us spar and train and often drew small crowds.

Kouga often sparred with me when his schedule allowed it and sometimes I could talk him into pulling out the sword Sesshomaru had gifted him with. He had improved amazingly with it in these last four years and I was betting he even practiced when I wasn't around.

I had found the courage to wander the area surrounding the caves by myself more frequently after Tobe's death. Sesshomaru and the pack still kept eyes and ears open for any sign of Kiba or his whereabouts. It was as if he had vanished from Japan itself.

I wanted to get stronger and fight my fears head on and so I left often with Tessaiga in hand or strapped to my side. Many dead trees were sacrificed in my practicing as well as many boulders, large mounds and the side of the smaller caves in the area. Kouga joked that eventually we would have a pebbled lake to show for my effort.

I felt myself once more and I looked it. My hair had returned to its former glory if not longer and when I walked you couldn't tell that I had ever had my knees or ankles broken. I had also gained back a bit of my confidence.

As mating season called out to everyone I found myself making excuses to avoid the cave. I enjoyed my time with Kouga and Ayame and even if they denied it I knew that even they wanted some personal one on one time. I often tried to slip away so that they could have it. When the boys were younger I often used nursing or caring for them as an excuse but now with them being old enough to join others of their age and play and be out of my sight for longer than a few hours I had found my excuses all but gone.

Today I woke up before either of them and made my way outside with Tessaiga in hand and made my way to a small clearing a few feet from the cave that was lush and green where a tiny stream flowed with just a few lush green trees to give it the false sense of privacy. I often came to this place to think when the caves seemed just a bit too crowded and noisy.

The sun had barely touched the sky when I had arrived and I sat quietly for the most part and when I had my fill I unsheathed Tessaiga and practiced stances and swings until my stomach growled. I was sweat covered and warm so I discarded my the top half of my hakama leaving my chest bare as I made my way to the small stream and scooped handfuls of water and brought them to my mouth drinking the crystal clear water deeply. With my thirst quenched I stretched and looked along the stream for the familiar wiggling movement of larger fish, grinning when I saw it. I stood still on the bank and when a fish swam to close I grabbed it and when I had a pile of six I searched for dry sticks among the grassy floor. I built a small fire and stuck sticks through the fish after de-scaling them, sitting them near the small fire, watching as their skin crisped to perfection before pulling up the first and partaking in its delicious flesh.

I was working on my second fish when the soft floral scent of Ayame wafted through my nose. I looked up just in time to see her smiling face before she wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned in taking a bit of my second fish. She grinned and made appreciative sounds while she chewed wiggling happily against my back.

"I figured you'd be here," said Kouga as he grinned down at me and came to sit next to me snagging a fish from the fire.

As he said it Ayame swallowed and nodded before giving me a greasy kiss on the cheek and coming to sit beside me, in-between Kouga and myself.

"That and we could smell your trail," said Ayame with a soft smile as she snagged a fish from the fire.

At that I lifted an arm and sniffed. Under the smell of sweat, fish, wood smoke and my usual scent was the smell something similar to cinnamon, citrus and an odd smell that was too soft to belong to me.

"You're in heat idiot," Kouga deadpanned.

My eyes widened and the softer scent made sense all of a sudden. As curiosity took over I leaned over taking a deep whiff of Ayame and smelled her usual flowery scent mixed with Kouga's musk, wolf and the smell of fresh sex and under it all I could smell something else…something that softer and it was then that I could smell that soft milk smell. My eyes widened and Ayame smiled at me widely as she nodded at an unasked question.

Though she and Kouga had coupled very recently this morning Ayame carried the fresh smell of carrying and that meant she was at least a week if not longer with cub.

I felt the call of my body and knew that it longed to be filled with another pup and the thought made me nervous but inside I was excited, the prospect of another small one in my arms, giving Yuki a brother or sister…so many thoughts flowed through my head. My face must have been one emotion after another and as my thoughts filtered through one after the other I missed Kouga standing and Ayame's shifting. I felt Kouga's arms wrap around my body pulling me backwards against his chest which was bare for his callused fingers to caress and grope, which he did liberally, pinching and caressing my chest sends waves of pleasure and awakening my slumbering length. I felt Ayame's talented hands untying my hakama ties and tugging so that I was stripped of my outer hakame and inner robe leaving only a fundoshi in place which she also made quick work of, placing it atop my other clothes in a pile.

Ayame was amazing with those small delicate hands and she played my body like an instrument as her hands tickled along my body leaving me gasping and writhing in Kouga's arms and lap. She came to my length and I saw that heated look on her face as she brought those delicate lips down and over my length causing me to moan loudly, my eyes fluttering closed as I gasped her name as she took me to the base. Her mouth was gorgeous and even more so as I watched it engulf me with little to know effort. I writhed between heaven and hell as Kouga's hands played along my chest joined in by his mouth, lips and tongue which nibbled, licked and bit from my neck down to my chest.

I felt Ayame's mouth leave my throbbing length and I watched as she moved from my lap, her eyes gleaming with mischief and then I felt my body shifted so that I sat on my knees, my bottom facing Kouga. I felt a gentle bite on my bottom causing me to squeak at the unexpected feeling and then tender nibbles and bites until I felt his hands part my cheeks leaving me exposed. I blushed and tried to hide my face but Ayame wouldn't allow it as she came to stand before me and kissed along my jaw until she came to my lips which she kissed deeply until we began a duel of tongues.

Kouga's talented tongue laved at my opening and I squirmed lost in the sensation, mewling into Ayame's mouth until she pulled away giggling. His tongue vanished and one digit entered in a swift motion, moving in and out until I was loosened enough to add a second. Ayame stood and I pulled her against me so that I could bury my face in her softness as I teased in much the same way Kouga had teased me, licks and nibbles until she writhed against my lips and her taste filled my mouth.

I felt Kouga's fingers leave my body but I wasn't empty for long as he pushed into me one delicious inch at a time until I was full and he was pressed firmly against my body. I gasped against Ayame and she writhed against me finding her pleasure and I watched as she shakingly stepped away and sat down on the soft green grass with her eyes glassy as she watched me from a distance.

Kouga went slow, pulling mewls of pleasure from my lips and as I felt my orgasm crest he began to pound vigorously into my body. I felt stars burst in my vision as pleasure crested over me, his seed filling me as he pushed as far as he could into my body.

I felt his weight cover my back before he pulled out and we lay there fighting for our breath, chests heaving. It hadn't taken long for Kouga to recover and soon he stood over me grinning widely as he helped me into a standing position. Once standing he gripped my hand lightly, leading me over to Ayame who smiled brightly as we neared.

She lay down on her back in the lush green grass that almost matched her eyes and beckoned me to her. I came to kneel between her thighs, parting them with my own. My awakening length touched her folds and it was her who guided it into her heat which engulfed me and caused me to close my eyes and shudder. When legs rested fully against her pert bottom I leaned forward on my hands which her body lay between and kissed her deeply. When we separated I licked and nibbled her beautiful thin neck and any other skin I could reach. While I was distracted Kouga was quick to kneel behind me pushing into my body once more, setting a slow sensual pace for us. The friction was delicious torture. He took his time with us bringing our bodies slowly to completion and as I felt my pleasure build to the find edge before tumbling over I felt him press into me as deep as he could as he leaned over my back placing his mouth on my the juncture between my neck and shoulder on the right side. Ayame sat up so she sat astride my lap bringing me even deeper inside of her body as she did the same on the left juncture.

As pleasure crested over us I felt their fangs pierce my skin as pain and pleasure mixed. I felt my seed fill Ayame as I was in turn filled with Kouga's seed. I gasped and wiggled as pleasure left me shaky in their arms. Ayame let go first, lapping at the blood on my shoulder before she leaned in and kissed my lips as she removed herself from my lap causing more shocks of pleasure as my length slid from her body.

Kouga let go and he too started lapping at my neck, cleaning any blood and healing his mark on my shoulder. I gasped and found myself exhausted, falling asleep in his arms. He grinned and pulled from my body, gently laying me down on the grass.

I fell asleep as I felt a peace fill me that hadn't been there before.

To Be Continued…

Holy cow! Didn't think I'd finish this chapter tonight. Thank you everyone who reads and reviews~! Your reviews really make my days so much better. You all are amazing~!

Kat 


	18. Chapter 18: Who will fix me?

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 18: Who will fix me?**

A week went by in the blink of an eye. Never had I found myself so thoroughly loved as I did now. Ayame and Kouga had completed me in a way I had never thought possible. I had matching mating marks on my shoulders and after I had woken up from my fainting spell we had two more rounds and in each round I was given my chance to add my own mark to their bodies.

The two of them shared matching marks on the right side of their necks and now on the left side that had mine. My marks were visible only when I bathed or went topless, both the ones on my body and theirs. It wasn't that I wasn't proud to show my marks off or for others to see. It didn't matter to me who saw and who didn't. I had physical proof, I had them and their love and that was all that mattered to me. We were a special triumvirate and we were happy.

Ayame gave me a pure innocent happiness and a comfort that wrapped around me like the warmest of blankets. Just being near her was ointment on my soul. Kouga was stability, safety, familiarity and he helped remind me of whom I was and who I could be. Together they made me feel more like myself.

Sesshomaru came to visit at the end of mating season, just as September had begun. He entered the caves with gifts in hand and as he entered our den he stopped in the doorway and inhaled deeply. His eyes widened marginally but he said nothing as he entered fully and came to stand before me, holding out his handful of gifts.

"Oji-sama!"

I quickly took the offered gifts from Sesshomaru's hands as he was attacked by two bundles of constant energy that had amusingly enough wrapped their tiny arms around his knees.

"Boys, don't crowd your Oji-sama," Ayame said with a large smile as we both took in the adorable scene.

"Will you train with us," asked Ranken as e excitedly jumped in place, having removed his arms from around Sesshomaru's leg.

"Later," was all Sesshomaru had to say, though he said it was small smile and a slight twinkle in his eyes.

Yuki let go and smiled up at his Uncle before turning and grabbing Renkan by his hand and leading him toward the den entrance.

"Don't wander too far boys, I expect you to stay within howling distance."

"Yes, Kaasan…," they chorused as they left the room in a hurry as children always seemed to be.

Ayame smiled and shook her head, "I'll leave you two to do your catching up. There's tea on the fire and cups sitting nearby. Thank you as always for the gifts and for visiting Lord Sesshomaru."

She leaned over placing a kiss on my cheek before she too exited.

I grinned and made my way over to the fire pit and sat down on one of the many placed cushions situated around it and signaled for Sesshomaru to join me which he did without hesitation. I filled a cup with the sweet smell of herbal tea Ayame had made us and handed Sesshomaru a cup before filling one for myself. He sipped and nodded his approval.

He simply looked at me and I gave him a shy smile and continued sipping my tea and as I did so I heard him inhale deeply. His eyes widened minutely and then he looked me over leaving me confused and then he spoke.

"I need not worry about any potential mates for you I see," he said and I felt my face burn hot with his words.

I looked down into my tea cup and nodded as my stomach roiled slightly, I took another sip letting the tea Ayame made serve its purpose in aiding my ailing stomach.

"Are you happy," he asked in all seriousness.

I grinned and felt foolish as I answered, "For the first time in a long time."

"And I assume that you are mated to both," he asked after taking a sip of his tea.

"I am. We all share marks."

Sesshomaru nodded and he inhaled once more exhaling loudly shaking his head, "Does the wolf prince know you are carrying."

I twiddled my fingers along the tea cup and shook my head, "Not yet. I wasn't sure until this morning. I will more than likely tell them both tonight."

Sesshomaru nodded his agreement and emptied his cup handing it to me, "Seems we will see how much your wolf prince enjoys him self with two pregnant mates. I don't envy him on this."

I grinned, "Yeah, two cubs was bad enough. I can't wait to see two more running around. And you do know you can call him Kouga?"

Sesshomaru grinned at the old argument, "We shall see. For now wolf prince will do."

I watch as he stood and looked down at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Go play with the boys. I think I'm going to lay down for a bit. One thing I don't miss about carrying is the exhaustion and weak stomach that comes with it."

"I shall stop in once more before I leave," he then left the room and I couldn't help but feel happiness fill me even if my stomach wanted to live outside of my body and I felt exhausted beyond words.

I cleaned the cups and set Sesshomaru's gifts aside deciding that I would go through them after my nap. I made my way to my warm and inviting bed furs and curled atop of them quickly finding myself pulled into a soft slumber with my hands gently resting on my still flat belly.

To Be Continued…


	19. Chapter 19: Dive in when I'm down?

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 19: Dive in when I'm down?**

I awoke to find my arms filled with two little ones snuggled in close to my body, one on each side. I grinned and sat up as slowly and carefully as I could. As I sat up I realized my claws were now human nails and around me my long white locks were traded for ebony.

I felt panic fill me like it did with all my human nights but as I glanced around my den and saw Ayame and Kouga sitting around the fire with mutual looks of happiness on their faces.

"You just missed your brother's departure. He stayed late but said you were exhausted and to let you sleep on," said Kouga.

I nodded and wiped my face and slowly pulled myself from Ranken's and Yuki's small limbs until I was kneeling and then standing on the furs. I stretched and then turned around and covered them both with a light blanket.

"He seemed as awed by your change as we always are," said Ayame with a smile as she held a small bowl for me.

"I think he's only seen my change a handful of times," and as I said it I sat down beside Ayame and inhaled the scent of a light miso soup through my now human nose.

I sighed happily and ate my soup one small spoonful at a time, careful to see what my stomachs reaction would be. It seemed to sit well and so I smiled and took the offered bowl of rice. As I ate the rice and felt my tummy fill for the first time in days I silently prayed it would stay that way until my food had fully digested.

"So your brother left with a cryptic message…" and as the words left Kouga's lips I frowned. If my puppy ears were propped atop my head they would have been lowered in annoyance.

"Oh…what did he have to say," I asked as I handed Ayame my emptied rice bowl.

"Wished me well with my mates and said he would visit when things were settled in the coming months," and Kouga stared at me as if he were trying to solve some great mystery.

I laughed and shook my head, "Well things are going to be hectic for the next few months."

Ayame's smiled turned into a grin and she clapped her hands together joyously, "Are you…"

Kouga looked lost but Ayame kept giving me an eager excited look with her bright green eyes shinning brightly waiting for my answer.

I grinned and nodded and I had Ayame's arms wrapped around me and she squealed and giggled happily into my human ears.

"This is amazing!"

"What is amazing," asked Kouga looking back and forth between myself and Ayame like a lost puppy.

"I'm carrying," I said grinning at him widely.

At that he looked me over and I watched his eyes widen comically as he stood and came over to me. I couldn't help but laugh as he pulled me close and proceeded to sniff me from head to toe stopping repeatedly at my midsection. I watched his eyes grow wider and then he grinned wider and he let out a whoop as his arms wrapped around my middle and he hugged me in his muscular arms as he laughed excitedly.

He let go and continued grinning like a fool as he stared at me and then Ayame. You could feel the male pride pouring off of him as his chest puffed out, the proud male that had knocked up not one but BOTH of his mates.

"I couldn't tell because the den already smelt of pregnancy and milk with Ayame carrying but now I can scent perfectly," said Kouga as he looked more serious.

"I suspected he was when I saw him get sick the other day," said Ayame with a knowing smile.

"Wait, so you told me AFTER you told your brother," asked Kouga a little put out.

"No moron. I'm betting he scented it as soon as he entered the den. He asked me about our bonding and then he mentioned my carrying," I responded feeling my cheeks heat up.

Kouga pouted and Ayame and I both laughed.

"I believe he pities you. You get two mates carrying at the same time," I said with laugh.

He shrugged and smiled, "It's not the first time. I dealt with you and Ayame the first time, only difference this time is that I get to enjoy your pregnancy this time from conception to birth."

I shook my head as he took pride in being an alpha male.

We sat at that fire and I enjoyed my time with them. I didn't matter if we talked or if we just did our nightly routines which varied from cleaning dirty dishes, sewing and repairing of clothes and furs or just basking in the warmth of the fire with tea. I enjoyed their company and they seemed to enjoy mine.

When everything had been done I went to carry the boys to their furs and was stopped by Kouga. He shooed me away as he lifted Yuki into his arms and carried him and then Ranken and laid them down on their furs and covered them, making sure they were tucked in properly before he joined Ayame and me in our furs. This night Ayame lay in the middle and we cocooned her in our warmth.

I thought on Kouga's actions with the boys and smiled. He would be a doting mate. He didn't want me carrying anything heavy after having just found out I was carrying I could only imagine how he would act as I grew larger.

As the thought came I couldn't help but think back on Kiba's cruelty and how lucky I was that Yuki had survived the beatings I had received while he grew inside me. I shuddered and stopped when Kouga and Ayame's hands both gently rubbed my arms until I closed my eyes and allowed their touch to fill me with hope and love for what was to come.

I felt myself drift into sleep with happy thoughts playing through my mind.

To Be Continued….

Thanks for reading! Sorry for the short chapter, sinus headache had me napping throughout the day.

Kat


	20. Chapter 20: Save me from myself

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 20: Save me from myself**

I was not a fan of morning sickness.

My stomach seemed to refuse anything with strong smells, strong tastes or anything with odd textures; morning, afternoon or night. It didn't much matter when; my stomach had become my worse enemy. I felt like I was dying inside and I was over emotional, everything brought tears to my eyes. I spent most of my time in bed fighting nausea and exhaustion. When I tried to do things I found myself falling asleep while midway through it. It thoroughly amused Koname when I fell asleep mid-sentence during a small and simple check up. I was made to return to my bed of furs which I did so grudgingly.

I felt like a hindrance and a bother no matter how many times Kouga, Ayame and even Koname had told me to dry my tears and simply do what my body wanted me to. So I spent my days sleeping and doing small chores in bed. I had learned to sew with Ayame's help and I had taken that role to heart and once I deemed my skills decent I offered to repair anything brought to me with the promise that I would finish it before the pup I carried was born.

Spring was nearly gone before my morning sickness ended and I found my self doted on whether I liked it or not. I was given treats of honeyed tea, the fattiest parts of the meat and Sesshomaru sent various pastries and pickles hoping to appease any who carried in our caves. Ayame and I always split up Sesshomaru's gifts and only kept a small portion to ourselves, everything else we gave to the other cave occupants.

Their doting helped me to gain back the weight I had lost and then some. At three months I already had lost my flat stomach and had gained a nice rounded belly. Ayame was lucky, she was only a week or two ahead of me and she was just beginning to show.

The boys were excited for siblings and I wasn't surprised to see them running around with Haruna; Ginta and Hakaku's two year old daughter with her ebony and soot gray hair sticking up in its spiked hairdo, a thicker version of her father's spikes but with her salt and peppered bangs hanging over her forehead and the remainder of her long locks braided at the back of her head. She was a spunky little thing who clung to the boys but had no problem putting her foot down. It was down right adorable to see her put her tiny hands on her hips and stare up into their eyes with her dark brown eyes looking so serious in that adorably pudgy face.

I was saddened I had missed most of spring and as summer came and the weather went from warm with spring breezes to summer where I was desperate to go outside but not so desperate to be out in the heat.

My desperation must have shown because on one of the hottest days Kouga took us to a little mountain fed lake a few minutes from the cave. There anyone who wanted to join us came, wolves and youkai. I had the joy of introducing Yuki into the wonders of a lake. He had learned to swim in the shallow water of the hot springs in the bathing area of the cave but a cool lake was different. The bottom was soft with mud and decaying material that sometimes had odors that hurt our sensitive noses if disturbed. He learned that quickly when he lifted a handful and brought it to the surface.

He also got to see the many different types of tadpoles; salamander, newt, frog and toad. He got to see the different species of fish and I made a lesson of showing him how to catch them. What little we caught we cooked next to a small fire. We also managed to find crayfish which we also made a delightful meal of. I spent most of the day basking in the cool parts of the lake making sure to watch Yuki and Ranken as they played and when some new insect, fish or plant was discovered I would tell them what I knew of it.

I had memories of my mother and a retainer whose name I can no longer remember walking with me in the garden of some palace where my mother and I were staying. It was probably some extended family member that my mother was fond of and who was fond enough of her to allow her hanyou child to stay under their roof.

I remember learning the names of plants, fish, amphibians and insects as I watched them in the large decorated ponds and streams on the palace grounds.

It was an amazing circle as I watched the curiosity and knowledge fill the eyes of Ranken, Yuki and even Haruna.

We had so much fun that when I could talk Kouga or any of the wolves who were off duty to come with us we would go and indulge ourselves to the fullest at the lake.

The cave activities were usually muted during the day so no one minded escorting us and any who came seemed to enjoy our company and the lake as much if not more so than we did.

Yuki had even convinced Sesshomaru to join us when he had come for a visit. We were all amused and surprised to see Sesshomaru shed his armor and kimono to swim in the lake with the boys. He listened intently as the boys imparted him with their knowledge and they seemed to soak up any added knowledge he provided.

I was amused when Sesshomaru himself had helped to catch our lunch along with the boys. We had enough that we had extra to take back to the caves and share.

We were all saddened when summer seemed to pass as colder weather came and we had to stop our trips to the lake.

Ayame had finally caught up to me as we reached six months of carrying. We both had small rounded swells that were just becoming noticeable under our clothes and were definitely noticeable when we were undressed. We could feel movement now in our five months of carrying and Kouga was much like the boys, desperate to feel the movements we often felt. I could only grin and tell them "soon".

As the leaves changed color and began to fall to the cold earth below I became more comfortable being outside, watching the boys as they played. Comfortable enough that sometimes I would forgo any escorts. Life was calm and quiet and it seemed as though that peace would never end.

To Be Continued…

Sorry I was late. Here's the new chapter. Enjoy~!

Kat


	21. Chapter 21: Don't let me drown

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 21: Don't let me drown**

It was mid-fall and leaves littered the ground around the caves creating a colorful carpet of reds, oranges, yellows and browns. The wind was chilly but not freezing and the scent of harvest filled the air from villages a few miles away. It made the little ones antsy to be outside as often as possible and we were willing to humor them because we knew that soon we; Ayame and myself, would be too far along to take them out in the snow to play and that was if the weather allowed us the luxury to do so.

Koname and other elders predicted this year would be a long and harsh winter and so the pack had taken to hunting as often as they could. Extra meat was dried and salted for use later. Winter was often the time for soups and stews and porridges made of rice and oats. We were given gifts of jars covered with leather hides from Sesshomaru that contained various types of pickled vegetables, honey and various types of preserved fruits.

We had begun to give extra furs and animal hides to Sesshomaru who would often sell or trade them for things we needed like rice, grain other supplies from human villages. He was lord over a large area but often relied on Rin's assistance in the matter when he visited her or a few of his very few trusted human retainers that oversaw such affairs in his palace.

We were definitely spoiled by Sesshomaru's kindness and we were sure to thank him as often as he would allow us to. We often gave him bits of dried meat and gifts of fine furs to use on his garments.

It was a quiet day when I decided to go out with Ayame, Ranken, Yuki, Haruna and a few of the other cubs and females from the pack to enjoy a nice fall day outside. As we made our way out we saw Kouga, Ginta and Hakaku off on their day full of hunting and territorial marking and monitoring.

We had packed a picnic lunch with Sachi and Kira and we found a quiet place less than fifteen minutes from the cave where a large gathering of trees gave us enough leaves that could be gathered into large piles which the cubs took turns jumping in. It amused all the adults present to see adorable wolf cub tails weaving in and out of the piles of leaves with giggles of excitement and happiness that echoed throughout the surrounding area.

When the children had worked themselves into hunger we had our packed lunch of dried meat, cold steamed rice and pickles. Ayame and I were enjoying our pickles so much that it amused Ranken and Yuki to give us their pickles, watching as we grinning and gulped them down happily licking the juice from our fingers.

The sun was just starting to make its way across the sky as the afternoon was growing late.

The woods suddenly grew quiet and I realized that birds that had been present earlier were now eerily silent if not all together gone. I could feel my ears swivel searching for some sound that everything was normal but the odd quiet other than the cubs playing was too loud. I stood and found myself lost in a mute panic. I was about to call out signal to Ayame but Sachi and Kira had noticed my odd behavior and immediately called the cubs to them.

The first loud howl rent the air and none of us recognized it as one our own. I herded the cubs and women out of the woods and turned to see where the danger was coming from as more sounds joined the first until soon a chorus of angry howls and barks soon filled the area.

"Sachi! Kira! Run, take the cubs with you and Ayame too."

They nodded and Ayame turned around to look at me and I shook my head pointing in the direction of the others, "Go and warn the others."

I followed a few feet behind, turning to see which direction the enemy wolves were coming from. It was then that an all too familiar figure appeared running beside the pack of wolves with a few new wolf youkai at his side. His auburn hair had grown longer and that all too familiar garnet stare still remained hauntingly cruel as he barreled down on us with speed and determination.

I turned to see that Sachi, Kira and the others were almost to the caves and had sent out the warning call. Howls rent the air from both directions and it was almost disorienting.

I squeezed my claws into my palms and as blood covered them I held them up and watched as the wolves and Kiba's goons got closer.

I grit my teeth and finally raised my arms and swung them down, "Hijin Kesso!"

I watched the attack tear into the wolves, ground, rocks and a few of Kiba's slower accomplices. Many yelps of pain echoed through the air.

Feeling my anger boil at his continuing approach I raised my claws high and growled out, "Sankon Tesso!"

More wolves fell and I watched now as only Kiba, a handful of wolves and two followers remained and unfortunately were right on me. I swung at one of his lackeys sending the skinny monstrosity to the ground with a swing but taking a hit from the other who was a bit taller and broader. I took the hit to my left shoulder and swung with my right catching him with my claws, feeling as his flesh gave under them.

I watched as Kiba sped past me and fought the surprise and then I saw his target…Ayame.

She stood hobbling a few feet away and I made to turn and run after them but the skinny one jumped on my back grabbing me around my neck. I growled and tried to free myself from his clutches leaving myself open and so the broader one attack my stomach punching hard causing me to scream at the pain. I torn the skinny one from my body and threw him against the broad one watching as they fell to the ground as Ayame's scream tore through the air.

"No!"

I turned and ran as fast as I could as I saw Kiba's hands grab Ayame and hold her against his chest. My vision began to turn red as growls and roars tore from my throat. My claws flexed and I roared as my speed increased.

The sound of howls and growls of wolves from our cave filled the air and I watched as they flew past me to attack the already hurt lackeys allowing me to give my full attention to Kiba.

He twisted with Ayame in his arms and gave me an evil smirk. I skidded to a stop a few feet away from him and watched as he brought her in front of him like a human shield.

"Let her go you fucking coward," and as the words left my throat I could feel the rage building knowing that my demon blood was boiling and wanted his blood coating our hands and claws for daring to touch what was ours. I felt my fangs shift and grow along with my claws as I inched forward slowly.

"Oh, but we're family she and I. Isn't that right Ayame, my darling half sister," and as he said it he raised a hand and caressed her face roughly leaving scratches on her right cheek and down her throat which he gripped cruelly, pinpricks of blood gathering where those claws dug in.

I growled and crept forward.

"Aww…has she won you over as well my pet? Does she know your body like I do," he asked squeezing her throat tight causing her to choke and struggle against his hand, her own tiny hands scratching into his.

"Or perhaps she shares you with her mate," and as the not quite statement left his mouth I watched as his free hand tore her furs away from her shoulders revealing her mating marks.

"Oh, I can see that she's done more than that. Sweet Ayame, always willing to share and be the good girl everyone wants. Aren't you Ayame, you're the precious heir born to the pack leaders chosen mate."

He shook her and then slapped her and I ran a short distance before he growled and raised his now elongated claws and caressed her exposed neck, I watched her life blood thump below her skin and felt my stomach sink knowing he purposely exposed that vein, letting her and I know that he could slice her neck open, leaving her to bleed out.

I halted and fought the demon under the surface. We couldn't risk her safety. I need her to be safe and as unharmed as possible. I WANTED her safe and far from harm and my demon echoed the same. We wanted our mate safe and we wanted the one who would dare harm her dead and beaten at our feet, preferably in multiple pieces.

His hand loosened around her throat and my gaze drifted into the distance behind him. In the distance I could see more friendly wolves running alongside reinforcements; one of them was definitely Kouga and my heart lifted marginally at seeing him. The call must have reached him as he returned from his hunting trip.

"Let her go Kiba. I'll take her place."

Kiba's eyes widened and he laughed harshly at my offer, "Oh my little pet why when I can have you both?"

Ayame chose that moment to wriggle in Kiba's grasp and whether it was a mistake or madness I watched as hands tried to grip her neck and those knifelike claws sliced into her neck. Her beautiful green eyes widened and we both shared looks for horror as realization dawned on us.

A sound like no other I had ever heard echoed through the surrounding area as I watched blood pour from her neck and suddenly I was on Kiba throwing him to the ground a few feet from where Ayame fell. I felt his claws and fist hitting and slicing any part of me he could reach as I attacked him. I felt all thought leave my mind as my vision fully turned red and I tore at any part of him I could reach. We rolled along the ground growls and roars rent the air. Pain covered my body and it wasn't until the sorrow filled howls filled the air that I realized Kouga had finally reached us.

I jumped from Kiba's body as wolves circled us and drug myself to where Kiba knelt with Ayame in his arms rocking her in his embrace. I fell to my hands and knees and crawled over to them as my now clear vision blurred with unshed tears. The scent of blood filled the surrounding area and there was a growing puddle beneath Ayame's now pale body. 

"Come on, fight this Ayame," the words sounded so raw as Kouga fought to keep himself together.

I came to kneel beside them and whimpered as tears ran in rivulets down my own cheeks. The blood flow lessened as her body fought to heal itself. I watched as she smiled softly up at Kouga and then turned that beautiful smile in my direction.

"We need to get her to Koname," I said fighting not to sob.

Kouga nodded and stood and just like the wind he was running with her in his arms back to the cave. I followed at a much slower pace, my body throbbing in pain as every wound was now felt. I pushed the pain and aside and pushed my body forward, desperate to get to Ayame's side once more.

I entered the cave and followed the trail of crimson drops to our den where Ayame was laid on our furs covered while Koname looked her over. I watched Koname's usual smiling face deepen in sorrow and I felt my heart sink. I came to Ayame's side and lay next to her as I offered her my body heat and my youki in the hope it would help her the way hers and Kouga's had helped me to heal. I hoped and prayed to any deity listening that she would live.

Ayame closed her eyes and I felt her hand lightly clasp mine and I lay on my side wrapping both my hands around her small cold hand. I leaned in and kissed her cheek and felt my eyes grow hot.

"You gotta fight, you hear me. You fight! I'm here and so is Kouga. You gotta fight for you and your cub."

As I lay there I felt her belly tighten against mine and I knew that didn't bode well.

"We need Sesshomaru," I called out to the room as I felt Ayame shiver against me, her body fighting to heal.

I heard the order given and watched as Hakaku left with wolves at his side. I lay there ignoring my body and its pains as I watched her struggle to breathe. Hours came and went and we all despaired as Ayame moaned awake, her body cramping followed soon by her waters breaking.

Her body was forcing an early delivery and Koname's sorrow filled eyes grew darker as the pains worsened and we watched an already weak Ayame fight pain in an already weakened state. I stayed at her side and held her hand along with Kouga and as the first light of dawn broken on a new day a tiny little girl was born almost three months early. She was tiny and it looked like every breath she took was an effort.

Ayame's tiny daughter was laid on her chest and Ayame stared down at her awed but too weak to move. I gently lifted Ayame's hands so that she could place her fingers on her tiny newborn.

"She's…beauti…ful…"

"Like her mother," said Kouga with a watery smile with deep pain in his cerulean blue eyes.

I nodded and fought for breath as I watched the light dim in Ayame's once bright emerald eyes.

"Ayame…hold on…," I could hear the desperation in my own voice but still I wouldn't give up.

"Sesshomaru will be here soon. He'll use that sword of his and you'll be back with us," but even as the words left my mouth I watched her eyes darken and then her arms went slack and slid from her daughters tiny body.

Koname lifted the baby from Ayames chest and Kouga lifted Ayame into his arms and held her close as he cried his grief into her chest, his pain echoing off the cave walls and ceiling. I sobbed and pushed myself into a standing position and left Kouga alone with Ayame as I fought my own grief. I knew my grief would never match his and I felt anger and sorrow and failure. I had failed in protecting her. I had lost her and in doing so I had left Ranken and her daughter without their mother and Kouga without his mate. I found a quiet nook at the back of the cave and slid down into a sitting position and allowed the tears to fall as I cried out my pain and loss.

To Be Continued….

Sorry everyone. This is why the story had originally been listed kougaxYasha. I never planned on how much InuYasha would care for Ayame in this story. She was an amazing char to write. I have a feeling you will all hate me even more after the next chapter. I hope you read to the end. Thank you for reading and reviewing.

Kat


	22. Chapter 22: Who will make me fight?

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 22: Who will make me fight?**

My body throbbed in pain all night but grief is a greater pain and I let it engulf me.

It was late in the evening when I was finally discovered in my small nook at the back of the cave by none other than Sesshomaru. I could smell him; a musk of cinnamon and spices with the odd scent of air before rain fall mixed with pine and cedar.

As he neared I could see his black boots until they stood a foot away where he stopped. I slowly lifted my head as my vision trailed up his white hakama and past his black armor and finally I stopped upon seeing his mouth set in a deep frown and his eyes glittering with something foreign which I realized as I saw his sword out in his hand was sorrow, a bit of regret and a touch of his usual anger.

"I am sorry InuYasha, my sword would not sing for her. Her soul has passed."

I fought to swallow and closed my eyes which one would assume would be as dry as the desert with as much as I had cried but no…once more my sore eyes grew hot and tears slipped past my closed lids.

My stomach cramped and it was as if Sesshomaru had sensed my pain and he lifted his sword letting it hover over my body. His sword was silent in his hand and he angrily threw it across the room as he stood there with anger blooming on his usually stoic features.

"It's okay Sesshomaru," I croaked out.

I had realized as I sat there in my sorrow that my pup hadn't moved for quite some time and that I could no longer "feel" its energy nor its movements. My pup was another victim of Kiba's attack and yet I knew it was my fault as well. I had put myself in harms way and with my idiocy I had killed my unborn pup.

I struggled into a standing position and felt my body cramp again. I gasped and walked past Sesshomaru and went to where Tenseiga lay. I carefully bent down and lifted Tenseiga into my hands and slowly made my way back to Sesshomaru's side. I stopped in front of him and held his sword out to him until he finally held his hands out and allowed me to place it into his hands.

"Deep down I knew she couldn't be saved. If anything you and Tesaiga gave me a bit of hope. Thank you for coming," I felt as hollow as my words sounded but I needed to say them. I felt as though my brother needed to hear my words.

He took Tesaiga and sheathed it with his other swords and I felt lost as to what I should do next as I stared oddly past him.

"Come, let us see if Koname and Tensen can take a look at you," and I sobbed at that statement. I sobbed because of so…many things but mostly because Sesshomaru had brought Tensen to see if anything could be done and I also sobbed because seeing them meant they would confirm my pup was dead.

I felt the odd sensation of Sesshomaru's arms wrapping around my shoulders as I was brought against his solid chest. It was odd and something I had never experienced but I found myself lost in his arms and the comfort they offered as I sobbed myself dry once more. He didn't pull away and after a few moments I felt him shift and found myself lifted into his arms, carried like a child as I leaned against his chest cradled in his warm arms.

The world around me swayed and wobbled as tears continued to flow from some endless well in my deep in my wounded heart. I saw a doorway hide get pushed aside and immediately felt Koname's warm hands on my swollen cheeks and then my forehead. She gently checked me over and she seemed to look everywhere but my swollen belly until Sesshomaru cleared his throat.

"I would like you both to check his pup," and as the words left his lips he gently placed me down on a pile of furs a few feet away.

I saw Tensen approach along with Koname and I fought the urge to shy away and hide myself once more. Koname came to kneel at my side, her gentle hands helped to push aside my hakama and under robe until my belly was exposed for all present.

There was no missing the deep bruises that lined my belly, you could practically see where each hit, punch, and kick had landed. I closed my eyes and felt her hands move along my belly and as she pressed and felt around I felt nothing. No shift, movement or response. I felt her hands leave my belly and I watched as she sat back and allowed Tensen the same courtesy. As Tensen's hands pressed he paused and I felt energy pulse through my midsection and I opened my eyes and saw the sadness etched on his face and Koname's and I had my answer. My pup was gone. They had confirmed what I had suspected and didn't want to face.

"Your pup has passed."

I sat there as my body cramped and I stared down at my belly and fought through the pain in my chest.

"There is a tea you can take to help take the edge off the pain and it will also help to speed things along," said Tensen softly as he took my hand in his and gently ran his thumb along my knuckles.

I nodded and watched as Koname and Tensen both stood and went to do what needed done. I watched as Koname gathered towels and blankets and few tools I had seen on hand at Ranken and Yuki's births. I watched as she made sure they were near and prepped while I watched Tensen mixing herbs and boiling water. It didn't take long before I was given a cup of brown steaming liquid. I inhaled deeply before I took the offered cup and sipped gingerly from it until it was emptied. I handed the cup back only to be handed another. As I sipped this one the cramps grew more intense and more frequently. I finished the second tea and after an hour the pain continued with the cramping but the sharpness of the pains soon numbed. I felt dazed as I lay down on the furs and looked around the room. Koname did as she had done when I had birthed Yuki, I felt my hakama removed and she began checking my progress. At some point Sesshomaru had gently caressed my head before he stood and left the room.

The pains continued to roll through my body. I begged quietly for it to end. I apologized to any who would listen and it only broke my heart to see the sorrow on Koname's face as she gently patted my thighs.

"I need you to push little one."

I did as I was asked and pushed into the contractions and soon the pain became overwhelming and I cried out pushing until all the pressure had let up as I felt my pups body leave my own.

Soft mewling cries filled the air and for a small moment I thought a miracle had occurred and when I fought to sit up in search of the sound I was pushed back down by Tensen who sadly shook his head. As the pitiful mewls continued I soon recognized them as belonging to the newborn Ayame had birthed.

My body ached, my heart ached and my mind ached. I lay there listening to those pitiful mewls and I let the tears fall once more. I closed my eyes and brought my hands to my ears as I fought to keep the sounds of the crying pup from them. I sobbed and hated myself for having thought my pup alive. The room had quieted down except for the pups mewls and soon my chest ached, not just my heart…my chest. My body betrayed me as my chest throbbed and a small amount of milk leaked from nipples my pup would never feed from.

Koname disposed of the afterbirth and after a few minutes she knelt at my side holding a small swaddled blanket.

"Is that my pup," I asked as I eyed the completely wrapped bundle.

Koname and Tensen looked at each other before Tensen nodded and Koname came to kneel at my right. She handed me the linen wrapped bundle which I held like it were glass while I carefully unwrapped. There amidst the pristine cloth was a very small, very male pup. He was smaller than Yuki, smaller than any pup I had ever seen. He barely had the beginnings of hair but what he did have was soft and ebony colored. I stared down at him and memorized every facet of his tiny hands, feet, arms and legs and as I stared I fought the urge to sob once more. I gently wrapped him back up and hugged him against my chest as I softly told him "sorry" over and over.

I felt arms wrap around my body as I cried into my sons blankets and realized by his earthy musk that it was Kouga who held me in his arms. Eventually he let go and I held our bundled son out to him. He lifted him into his arms and did the same as I had. He looked him over, as if committing everything to memory. I watched Kouga and as I did I still heard the sad mewls of his daughter. I turned to Koname and watched as she gently swayed and bounced the little girl in her arms fighting to calm her.

"Bring her here," and as the words left my mouth I held my arms open.

Koname didn't hesitate. She came over with the mewling little bundle and gently passed her to me. I rocked her gently as I softly spoke to her.

"There now, stop all that noise. I've gotcha."

I shrugged my robe open so that my leaking chest was exposed and I brought her to my right nipple and watched to see if she would latch on. She was tiny and her mouth even tinier but she fought to get her mouth at the right angle and soon her mewls and cries quieted as she latched on finally pulling the much needed nourishment she needed into her tiny mouth. I watched as she suckled heartily and smiled through my tears as milk gathered at the corner of her mouth while she fed.

I looked down at her and noted her fiery red locks and plump cherubic cheeks and realized she was just as beautiful as her mother.

The room was quiet as everyone watched me nurse the tiny little girl, including Sesshomaru who had reentered the room.

I fed her and burped her and as I stared down at her I realized perhaps we could fill the void in each others lives in only a tiny bit.

To Be Continued…

Sorry for the sad. More good to come, I promise.

Kat


	23. Chapter 23: Drag me out alive?

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 23: Drag me out alive?**

I was awoken by soft mewls from beside me that were almost too soft to penetrate my exhausted slumber but my instincts wouldn't let me ignore them. I opened my eyes and looked down at the smallest little thing all wrapped in blankets and furs with tiny tears falling from cherubic cheeks. I couldn't help but smile at her as I began the struggle of sitting up.

I still hurt and as I sat up stings and twinges traveled from my belly to my back and lower down. With the pain I remembered my pup and I wondered where they had placed him. I couldn't think on it too long because the tiny little one who lay beside mewled louder as if the little princess knew I had awoken for her and she wasn't letting me forget her that easily. I looked left and found Kouga trying to sleep and took pity on him and her as I lifted her into my arms. Her cries softened into whines and sniffles as I lowered my robe and brought her to my aching chest. She nuzzled until she was able to latch on.

I caressed her back gently while she fed, her small fists clenching against my chest while she fed like a kitten or puppy kneading for milk. I gently wiped the tears from the corners of her eyelashes and her soft plump cheeks. I watched her nurse until I was secure in the knowledge that she had it down and glanced around the larger room and realized I was in Koname's healing den. The smell of herbs was strong here but it was almost comforting and reminded me of Kaede and her old hut. As I looked around I heard the all too familiar sound of Kouga's stirring beside me.

I turned and watched as he stretched and stared up at me from his laying position. His look was neutral and his cerulean eyes seemed so curious and questioning. He sat up and scooted closer so that he could lean over my shoulder to and stare down at his daughter while she nuzzle against my chest, milk once again gathering at the corners of her tiny mouth.

"I'm sorry."

The words were soft and laced with pain and my heart clenched at hearing them.

"I would ask why but I know that you're a dumb wolf and you think that you're to blame in all of this," I said it playfully and tried to put conviction into such simple words.

"Doesn't make me any less sorry," he said softly.

"I am too," and as I said it my eyes grew hot.

"And you're a dumb dog," he said softly causing the tears to escape and run in rivulets down my cheeks.

He leaned in further and wrapped his arms around me, careful of his nursing daughter as his lips came to rest on our mating mark in a gentle kiss. He trailed kisses up my neck from my shoulder and then along my chin stopping to gently lick the salty trail of tears from my left cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned in to his arms.

"I miss her so…much. I can only imagine the pain in your heart," I said with a soft sob.

He kissed my cheek and I felt the warmth of tears that were not my own land on my bared shoulder.

He held me tightly and sighed deeply inhaling my scent, "I was mourning her and then your brother came into the den and told me you had lost our cub and they wouldn't let me come into healing den and all I could think was that I was losing you as well."

I let more tears escape as the pain in his words sunk deep into my chest. He squeezed me as if making sure I was still in his arms.

"I'm here. I couldn't protect Ayame or our son but I am here," as I said the words I sobbed and he leaned in once more kissing my cheeks and turned my head so that he could kiss my lips.

"It hurts for both of us, but we can pull through this," and as he said it his daughter let go of my nipple and mewled in dislike at her salty bath.

I laughed through my tears and gently lifted her to my shoulder, rubbing her back as she brought up a small amount of air. Kouga leaned in and smiled down at his small daughter where she rested against my shoulder.

"She looks like Ayame with those fiery red locks," and as he said it he gently played with her short and curling locks.

"She's going to need a name. I can't keep calling her little princess," I said as I brought her back down into the crook of my arm and rocked her gently, watching as she yawned and began to fall back asleep.

"We will think of one, for now little princess will do," said Kouga with a smile.

Our quiet was broken by when the den hide was pushed aside revealing Koname with Tensen at her side. Both looked surprised as seeing us awake but they offered us small smiles.

"How does the little one fare?" asked Koname as she came to kneel at our little bed of furs.

"She has a hearty appetite," I said as I held her up for Koname to see.

"And you," asked Tensen.

"I still ache but not nearly as bad as I expected. I am healing."

He nodded at my words and came to kneel by Koname. He leaned in and gently placed his hand on my forehead. He removed his hand after a few moments but nodded and patted my shoulder affectionately.

"You have a slight fever but otherwise you look as well as one can expect. Are you up for some company," he asked.

I nodded and Tensen grinned and turned to face the hide before he called out, "Come on in boys."

At his words the hide was flung aside and in ran Ranken and Yuki. They halted to a slow walk as they saw my arms full with the small bundle. As they came near I noted the tear stained faces and felt my heart squeeze.

"Chichue," and with that one soft word I could all the worry, stress and sorrow held inside my small son.

Koname took our daughter from my arms without being asked and I held my arms wide allowing not just Yuki but Ranken to fall into my arms. I wrapped them in my embrace and squeezed them in the tightest hug I had ever given.

"Okaasan is with the ancestors," Ranken sobbed out and I nodded and kissed his head.

"She is but she is there with your younger brother and both of them will be watching over us from now on," said Kouga from beside me as he rubbed his sons back.

"But I want her here," he cried.

"We all do. There won't be a day that we won't miss her but you know what?"

He looked up at me with his beautiful tear filled green eyes and my breath caught in my throat momentarily.

"She wouldn't want us being stop living and being happy. Its okay to miss her and to cry but you must remember to live and to smile."

Ranken sniffled as did my quiet Yuki.

"I don't feel like smiling today," said Ranken.

"No one does and that's okay," said Yuki softly.

Once I had calmed the boys down some I was moved back into our old den where Sesshomaru and Tensen said their goodbyes with the promise of visiting again. I was laid on clean bed furs and the little princess was introduced to her big brothers.

The boys were enamored with her and it took their minds off of their loss if only for a short time. We were all hurting and with us the entire pack mourned Ayame's loss. I spent that night with the little princess snuggled in tight against my chest and the boys asleep between Kouga and my self. It had been a long time since we had all shared bed furs but it helped somewhat to give us all comfort.

The next morning we had all gathered in the pack cemetery where we laid Ayame to rest, my son swaddled in her arms in a deep hole beneath the bright fall sun. Words of remembrance were spoken by all including myself and there wasn't a dry eye in the surrounding area. Flowers were tossed into the grave and then howls of mourning and sadness rent the air. One or two soon became the whole pack and as the pain in my chest echoed theirs I too joined in. We all trudged back into the caves and a soft communal meal of rice and boar was served.

I had finished my meal and was nursing the little princess when Kouga came to sit down next to me.

"I wanted you to know that Kiba's fate is yours to decide."

I felt my breath catch and I took a deep breath and looked into those serious cerulean blue pools trying to interpret his words.

"He's…"

"Our prisoner; currently he is secured in the deepest part of the caves with wolves and youkai as he jailors."

I nodded and looked down at my hands as the nervously stroked our daughters back.

"I wanted to let you have the choice of his fate. If it is too much just say so and I will decide. The elders decided that he was your kill. He has wronged you the most."

I couldn't find the words the reply so I simply nodded.

To be Continued…

Okay I am once again having a tough time deciding on a name. I decided that since Ayame is a flower name we should stick to the same for her daughter. I am between the following names:

Himawari – sunflower

Renge – Lotus

Tsubaki – Camellia

Let me know which you prefer~!

Kalafina is an amazing group to listen to when writing such melancholy scenes, so beautiful and melodic. You can find their stuff on Amazon's digital music…just an FYI…..

Well til next time~!

Kat


	24. Chapter 24: Save me from myself

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 24: Save me from myself**

Winter had descended on the caves and I found myself with two very needy boys.

Ranken and Yuki hardly left my side as if afraid I too would vanish from their lives. I tried my hardest to reassure them and the most reassuring thing I could do was to do as we always had. I knew hiragana and katakana and I taught them what I knew. They had reached the age where it became a game to see who could remember the most. Both could write their names on paper in hiragana; the rare times we were gifted with paper from Sesshomaru, and both would proudly show any who would stop and listen. We often practiced on the dirt floor or using charcoal and thin pieces of wood. Teaching them kept my mind clear and allowed me to keep their minds busy.

Kouga preened at showing off his knowledge of kanji. I was unable to finish my schooling with my mother's death and my life on the run but now I seemed to learn beside my sons each week as a new kanji was introduced to us. Sesshomaru visited when the weather allowed and after seeing the boys' enthusiasm for learning he brought slates, chalk and books.

When it seemed like they're energy was overflowing Kouga, Ginta or Hakaku would often take them outside where they could release they're pent up energy. Every so often I would join them but with the little princess still much too little I tended to be overly cautious and often kept inside the caves with her.

She grew little by little and after two full weeks she fully opened her baby blue eyes. It was at that time that she was given a clean bill of health from Koname and Kouga and I decided on the name Himawari. Though she was named "sunflower" her nickname became "Hime" because she was our "princess".

We found our happiness again and yet our conflict wasn't finished.

In the deepest part of the caves at the very bottom, Kiba was locked away and his fate still remained in my hands. It was something that stayed at the back of my mind and Kouga gave me til the first day of warm weather to decide his fate. I knew he had to die. He had a troubled past and I understood a small amount of his pain but where I and others had put their past behind them and used its lessons to better ourselves he had chosen to let it eat away at him and make him a monster. He had so much blood and innocence on his hands.

I had decided that I would go see Kiba in his prison and so I left Himawari with Kira and Sachi on a day when the boys were already outside playing in the snow. I wore my thickest hakama set which was a set in a deep plum with a heavy black fur cloak that almost swallowed me in its size but it was warm and somewhat comforting since it smelled of both Kouga and Ayame. Both my Hakama and the cloak had been gifts from them.

To get to the area where Kiba was imprisoned you had to first leave the caves and follow a path outside that lead to the very back of the cave. There I found a guard who looked me in the eye and nodded as he led me through the low and narrow entrance. I followed behind him as we went down steep steps carved into the stone of the cave as they led further down into darker and more damp surroundings, the way was lit by oil and tar soaked torches and the farther I went the darker it became.

The guard was a bulky wolf youkai by the name of Kito. He was tanned with a multitude of scars, though the only visible ones were along his neck, head and face as the rest of his body much like my own was under a thick fur cloak. He was nearly bald except for the thin Mohawk of black hair atop his head that came down the back of his head into a thin braid. Kito stopped at a locked door made of some thick metal that he unlocked and walked through, looking back at me with serious dark brown eyes as he did so.

I took a deep breath as I tried to fight the panic deep inside. I nodded and crossed the threshold and as I did the pungent smell of waste, blood and sweat assaulted my sensitive nose. I tried not to breathe too deeply as we passed many dark and empty cells that lined the far wall. We walked until we came to the very back corner and there I was halted by Kito's large and scarred hand.

I watched as he lifted the torch to light the one against the wall which lit the back corner. As the light grew brighter I could see that Kiba sat against the cave wall, his wrists raw and bloody, held against the wall in shackles made of an odd metal that almost glowed around his wrists. His auburn locks had been shorn and his body was lightly covered in fur rags. He was dirty, bruised and battered and yet as he raised his head to look up at Kito I could still see those fierce and proud fiery eyes. He growled at Kito, soft and broken and then his nostrils flared and I watched as his head turned and those fiery eyes found my own.

"If it isn't my whore," he said more in awe than anger or disgust.

Kito growled and was about to enter the cell but I placed my smaller hand on his and when his brown eyes looked at me I shook my head "no".

"You have come far my pet. You went from lowly whore to Alpha's mate."

I closed my eyes and shrugged, "I was happy being who I was before you came along. I was blessed to be able to be with Kouga and Ayame, two amazing souls that healed mine."

"Isn't that so…sweet? It's sickening to hear the love in your voice. Ayame was always the sweet one, so innocent, naïve and filled with hope."

His face was twisted in hatred and it was almost frightening to see it but underneath you could see the sorrow.

"She was and if we are lucky her daughter will be blessed with the same traits."

"Did you know that Ayame was thought to be an Omega? Oh she was so…special. Even I loved her," and as he said it I could see so many emotions flitter across his dirty face; sorrow and regret two of them.

"They say you destroy the things you love."

The words left his mouth almost as if he was reciting a love poem and I shivered at the oddness of it all.

"Did you?"

"Did I what," I asked generally confused.

"Did you kill the things you love," he asked as he looked me over before staring into my eyes with a deep intensity.

I stared at him unsure of an answer.

"You lost the cub you carried," he stated more than asked in a serious tone.

I nodded finding I didn't want to say the words out loud with the pain still too raw.

"Did you also lose the cub I put into your belly?"

Part of me felt I should say nothing and yet before I could answer I watched as Kito turned to look behind me with angry eyes, his large arms crossed in front of his chest. I turned to follow his gaze and there stood my quiet Yuki, half hidden in the shadows of the doorway hand in hand with Ran.

I sighed and held my hand out beckoning him to my side. He glanced at me and fidgeted before he slowly made his way to my side taking my hand and then bringing himself as close to my body as possible, as if he could hide himself against the dark furs. I knew it was impossible with his pale hair and complexion but I could understand his nervousness. At his side was Ran who growled and eyed Kiba with animosity that looked wrong on his usually pleasant face.

"I am assuming my answer lies with the white haired one," and as he said it he seemed to stare at Yuki, looking him up and down from head to toe.

"I suppose it is a blessing that he favors you. I was always told my hair and eyes were ill omens."

I had nothing left to say and I felt more conflicted than before I had come to see him.

"I am done. Thank you Kito."

I turned Ran and turned my own body which Yuki clung to and we began walking towards the doorway.

Kiba's voice rang out once more in the nearly silent room "I hope he lives a good life."

I gently placed my hand on Yuki's head and he looked up at me. I didn't answer as I left the room with my boys and we made our way to the steps and up them.

When we reached the top I took a deep breath and looked up at the pale blue sky before looking down at Ran and then Yuki.

"You two know that you're punished as of now don't you?"

I heard Ran sigh and watched as he nodded his head and saw and felt Yuki nod against my leg.

"Let's go back to the den. Your sister is probably as hungry as I am."

As we walked Ran came to my other side and took my hand in his so that I had my left arm wrapped around Yuki at my side and Ran's hand in my right.

"Was that man Yuki's Dad," asked Ran softly.

"He is Yuki's sire," I answered as we came to the cave entrance.

"What is the difference in a sire and a Dad," asked Ran with the cutest confused pout.

We walked through the cave headed towards our den as I answered, "Kouga is a Dad, that man is a sire. A sire is someone who helps to make a cub or pup but a Dad or a father is someone who is there to help care for and raise it."

I saw understanding dawn on their faces and as we entered our Den both boys gleefully ran to Kouga who sat at the hearth with Kira, Sachi and Himawari. I watched as Kouga playfully played with both boys and saw the happiness on Yuki's face as looked up at Kouga.

Yuki was young and still had many things to learn but already he seemed to know that Kouga was more important than the person he had seen in the cell.

To Be Continued….

Sorry everyone. I was sick the past few days. Too weak to even sit up let alone write. Going to try to get back on schedule. Soon this story will be over and then I'm going to try to finish "Do what you have to do".


	25. Chapter 25: Don't let me drown

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 25: Don't let me drown**

Winter came to its end and with it spring brought renewal and change.

Before the heat struck the caves inhabitants it was decided that Kiba would be put to death. It was not a decision I had made lightly but it was one that had been embraced by all the caves occupants, elders included.

Death is not something that can be taken lightly but unlike in Kagome's future this one was not very forgiving and there was real help for Kiba. He had the excuse of his past but the past does not define your future. My mother had often told me to not let people or things define me. I had lost many things that I held dear and had many horrible things befall me and done to me, I could have become like Kiba but I didn't.

As most punishments were, it became a spectacle.

The sky was a deep shade of light blue that almost made you feel as though you could swim through it and the clouds that covered the sky were thick and bright white that stood out in that oh so blue sky. Clouds so thick you'd mistake them for sheep's wool. The sun was warm and inviting and as I approached the circle of dirt and grass that I had come to know as the "circle of truth" where a small crowd was growing into a larger one.

I stood there in my red firerat hakama and took a deep breath as I felt the spring wind blow through my white locks. I looked around the circle seeing the familiar faces of the pack as well as many furry familiar faces also belonging to the pack. I watched the circle part as Kouga came to the clearing with Ranken and Yuki at his side.

He came to stand at my side and I fought to keep the shock off my face at the sight of the boys.

As Kouga came to face me his face studied mine and he leaned in nuzzling my right cheek as he softly spoke into my ear.

"As future pack members they must see this."

I shook my head and fought for words, "They're only seven."

"What had you seen at seven Yasha," he asked as he pulled away to peer into my eyes.

"Not a beheading," I said softly.

"I understand your fear and wanting to protect them but they have to understand that this is how the pack settles things, especially if Ranken is to inherit the pack," I closed my eyes and felt Kouga's hand gently caress my right cheek.

I sighed and looked down at my boys and felt my chest constrict, "Do they know?"

"They know that Kiba has killed Ayame, their baby brother and hurt you and others. I have explained that justice must be served."

At Kouga's words I nodded held my hands out for the boys to each take one. As they did I felt their warmth and instead of feeling at ease I felt yet another weight atop my already burdened shoulders. I felt Kouga's lips brush my cheek and I watched as he entered the circle and stood there causing a hush to fall over the crowd.

As the hush fell the crowd turned in unison to watch as Kiba was lead by two pieces of thick twisted leather around his neck like a leash in the hands of Kito and Raiga. His arms hung low, still encased in shackles along with his ankles. The sound of metal clanking was loud in the silence. His body had lost most of its muscle mass while locked away along with its body fat. Kiba was a sad sight to behold for any who had known him before his capture.

Though he had been brought down his eyes still held pride and a deep intensity that was hard to miss. He held himself up right and stared straight ahead as came to the clearing. He saw me along with the boys and stopped a few feet a away as he looked us over.

"Keep that look boy. Remember to protect those you hold dear no matter the cost," and as I looked down I realized that Ranken's fangs were bared as he all but growled and snarled at Kiba, his face twisted into something wild filled with hatred and anger.

He looked to Yuki who squeezed my hand tighter and tried to press himself against my side, "Do not hide who you are. Stop hiding that eye. The fire in your eye is from a pack long gone; you are the last of that line."

He raised those fiery eyes that were too deep to be simply called orange or garnet and he looked into my eyes, "Perhaps it was fate that I found you. You are beautiful and I am glad I was the first to have you. Your eyes say it all; they say that you will never forget me."

I said nothing; I dared not blink or more. I simply stared at him until he gave a mirthless grin and the leashes yanked harshly causing him move forward. As he passed me I saw that it was my brother who had come up behind him.

Sesshomaru stopped at my side and looked down at me, his eyes emotionless along with his expression. I closed my eyes and nodded realizing he was assessing me and my reaction to Kiba's words.

I felt his hand come to rest on my shoulder and I felt Yuki shift. I looked down to find that Yuki had his right hand in my left and his right fisted in Sesshomaru's robes.

"Today we have Kiba; son of the great wolf lord of the North Rekka and lady Honoko. He has none to speak on his behalf and so we shall let him speak for himself should he choose to."

Kiba was brought into the middle of the circle and forced to kneel between Kito and Raiga. At Kouga's words he stared out at the crowd he bared his fangs in a grin and laughed.

"I have no peers to preach to, none who wish to hear my words. I will tell you all what you wish to hear. I captured your women and made them mine! I raped and stole what I wanted. I killed a precious few and I killed your precious wolf princess Ayame. I have served my own justice! Now you shall serve yours!"

There were growls, barks, jeers and shouts at his words and with one hand Kouga silenced the crowd.

"You are traitor to Ayame's pack and helped your mother to return though she was an exile. Your mother was killed for her treachery which included the death of the clan's heir, Ayame's younger brother as well as her mother lady Tsubakiko. Ayame begged for you to be spared."

Kiba clenched his jaw and growled, "I was left to defend myself in hostile territory but yes I was spared."

"You stole supplies from smaller wolf packs and later young women whom often died from your cruel treatment."

Kiba said nothing and it was then that Kira and Sachi stepped forward, "We were captured and violated by Kiba and his pack. When we no longer pleased him we were given to his lower pack members. We had a hair shorn and daily beatings."

Kira's words caused uproar and they turned and returned to the crowd.

Kiba raised his hand and looked in my direction, beckoning me forward. I let go of Ranken and Yuki's hands and gently patted their heads as I stepped into the circles center. I came to stand a few feet from Kiba and Kouga as I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.

"I was captured by Kiba. I had both my ankles broken and was forced to share his bed furs in which he beat me constantly."

I opened my eyes and stared into Kiba's eyes, "I escaped with help and upon finding us Kiba murdered Hana, put his hand through her chest. He then broke my knees and re-broke my ankles. I suffered his attentions until I was rescued."

"Tell them how your screams were like music and how your tears were a beautiful sight as they fell," Kiba taunted cruelly.

Before Raiga or Kito could pull on the bindings Kouga's fist struck Kiba's face sending his face backwards. Kiba lifted his head to its original position facing forward and spit a bloody fang at Kouga's feet.

"Did you tell him how you begged for it to end? How you sobbed asking for death while I took you," Kiba persisted cruelly.

Sesshomaru came to stand at my side with a growl softly falling from his lips as he raised his sword. The words had been said softly but it was no use around Youkai with such amazing hearing.

"He killed Ayame and my unborn cub," and as the words left my mouth I felt emptier than I had in a long time.

"With the truth from his mouth and those around us we shall sentence Kiba to death. If there are any who find fault with this sentence speak now."

Silence followed Kouga's words.

"All for," and the question howls, barks and yells called out.

Kouga lifted the sword Sesshomaru had gifted him and held it high. The sun glinted off the clean metal only a moment before Kouga brought the sword down piercing Kiba through the middle of his chest.

It was quiet as Kiba choked and spat blood, the sword still through his chest; embedded so far that the blade had struck the earth below.

I felt something pressed into my right hand and saw that Sesshomaru had handed me Tessaiga. I unsheathed it and came to stand before Kiba as the blade transformed in my hands into its larger form. Kiba's eyes followed my arms as they lifted and it took only a moment for my blade to fall onto his thin neck. The blade went through cleanly and when I felt the blade hit the ground I closed my eyes. The sound of Kiba's head echoed around us and howls rent the air.

I lifted Tessaiga and found a towel pressed into my hand. I tried not to think as I wiped the crimson from Tessaiga's blade before it transformed back. I sheathed it and held it at my side.

Kiba silenced the crowd and I returned to the crowd finding Sachi and Kira with the boys. I looked down at Yuki who took my hand and I couldn't tell whose hand shook more, mine or his. We walked back to the cave, Ran's hand grasping the wrist that held Tessiga.

I entered the cave and with the boys we came to sit at the hearth while Kira prepared tea for us.

"Yuki, Ran…I need you two to know and remember to never let hate and darkness fill your heart or mind. He chose a path of destruction and in the end it destroyed who he was. Though I don't think I'll ever have to worry about you two. You are both my big, strong boys."

At that I received two nods and two very big hugs from two still very small boys. Sesshomaru came and sat with me a bit offering his silent presence as food was served. I found I had little appetite but ate what I could for Hime who was brought to me by Shizuka. I nursed her and burped her and played with her for a bit and then Kouga entered our quarters.

"I will take the boys out for a bit," I muttered thanks as Sesshomaru left with two bundles of energy and watched as Kouga lifted Himawari into his arms. He held her close and rocked her before calling Ginta who came and took her into his arms.

I watched Ginta leave and looked around our room and realized we were alone.

Kouga came to kneel in front of me and as I stared into his deep cerulean eyes he leaned in and captured my lips. It started out soft and almost hesitant and ended with the two of us fighting for dominance until soon our tongues intertwined leaving us a panting mess as I fell back onto the floor with Kouga on his hands and knees above me. I fought for breath as he leaned in kissing me again, his hands traveled down my body making quick work of removing my firerat hakama and I buried my hands in his armor helping him to remove it. Soon I was naked and his hands roamed my body for the first time in months.

I felt his hands pinch and tickle my swollen nipples causing me to gasp and writhe in his grasp as little droplets of milk were produced. He leaned down and lapped what I produced and I gasped as he took one and then the other nipple into his mouth sucking heartily. When I couldn't take anymore he lifted his fingers bringing them to my mouth. I licked them and he gently brought them into my mouth. I licked and laved at them until they dripped saliva and then he removed them. He kissed my lips while he circled my entrance with one slick digit and thrust his finger deep inside at the same time as he plundered my mouth with his tongue. He worked my body with a single digit and when he was satisfied he added another continuing with his thrusting and twisting until he was satisfied and added a third. He spread me open and I gasped and whined. His mouth left mine and instead he kissed his way down my body, my neglected member thick and hard and jumping in anticipation but still he ignored it as his tongue instead dipped into my bellybutton. I writhed and gasped and shook my head back and forth desperate for more of the pleasure he brought.

His fingers left my body and I whined at the loss, feeling empty without them. I found myself fully naked and his arms lifted my body as though I weighed nothing and turned me so that I was now positioned on my hands and knees. I whined as I felt cold air hit my exposed skin and then his heat returned at my backside and the familiar smell of herb enhanced oil filled my nostrils and he entered me in one smooth stroke. I gasped and dug my hands into the fur below us. He pulled fully out; inch by delicious inch as I begged below him, desperate to have the emptiness filled once more. He did as I wanted and teased me by slowly pushing back in. He did this teasingly for what seemed like an eternity until I could take no more.

"Fill me! Fill me and make the emptiness go away," and I felt the tears in my eyes as I begged him and he looked into my eyes with his eyes bright and filled with want and did as I asked. He thrust in fully until I could feel him firmly pressed against my backside. He stayed there as I fought his grip against my shoulders as I wiggled against him. He moved in quick strokes until I was crying out once more begging, begging for him, for more of him.

"Yes, fill me. Fill me…" and as the words left my mouth I felt his release deep inside of me as that sensitive bundle of nerves was hit I too came, spraying the furs below with my own seed.

He lay atop me and we both fought for air and once we had it he then pulled me onto my side and took me against his body and entered me once more. I wiggled against him and came before him. He continued to pound into my body until I came for him once more and then he filled me for the second time. I lay panting against him and we both fell asleep wrapped in each others arms.

We hadn't sleep long, maybe an hour before we separated and cleaned ourselves as thoroughly as we could with rags and a basin of water filled with lavender. We redressed and I helped him put his armor on. When I had finished he leaned down and captured my lips once more. I leaned against him for a moment pushing away when I heard childish giggles.

Turning around I found Ranken and Yuki standing there giggling and Sesshomaru with his arms crossed watching us with a raised eyebrow.

I blushed and gently pushed myself from Kouga's arms, "I'll go fetch Himawari."

I was pulled back into Kouga's arms and he kissed me soundly one more time and I pushed away bopping him in his head.

"Horny wolf," I said with a blushing grin.

"And proud of it," he declared grinning wide enough to show off his fangs.

"I will see my self out. Do be sure not to rut in front of the children," said Sesshomaru with what I could only describe was a small grin.

I sighed and went to get my daughter and for once I felt as though perhaps things would finally get better.

To Be Continued…

Thanks for reading~! I had fun writing this chapter. Only took me four hours. Not bad. Next chapter coming soon.

Kat


	26. Chapter 26: What doesn't destroy you

**Title: Drown  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Kouga, Kouga/Ayame, Inuyasha/Kouga/Ayame, mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/Kikyo InuYasha/OC  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

 **The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Drown" by Bring Me The Horizon**

 **Chapter 26: What doesn't destroy you**

Spring was in full bloom in the eastern caves and all around old couples acted like newly mated youngin's.

I couldn't help but feel guilty as Kouga and I found any time we had free to slip away and participate in any love making activity we could think of. In the middle of the day or before the evening meal I would often ask Koname and Shizuka to watch after the boys and Hime and when I apologized she simply grinned and shooed me out.

"I am simply happy that you and Kou have each other."

And I took her words and actions to heart as we did as she said. The boys seemed happy at seeing us happy and so we huddled around our smaller family glad that we were together.

Things had quieted down and I was busy setting the den to rights. It was filthy and in our depression we had made quite the mess the past few months. I had the boys help but when I realized it only made things a bigger hassle I sent them out to play with Haruna and the other young ones so that they weren't underfoot.

Hime enjoyed herself strapped to my back as she was bounced and jostled during my cleaning, often cooing and giggling as we went about the den. Sachi and Kira had stopped by on a few occasions and laughed at the sight of us. I suppose we were a sight covered in dust with cleaning rags and straw broom in hand with cloths tied around our heads and in front of our mouths; though Hime kept pulling hers off.

It had taken me over a week to set everything in order and that included washing all the bed furs and hanging them out in the spring air to dry along with all blankets, spare clothes and seat cushions.

I only spared two items; a rugged blanket and soft pillow. Both had been gifts from Sesshomaru and both had been Ayame's favorites and so they had become hers and hers alone. Her smell was strong on them and I couldn't bring myself to lose that just yet. Her scent had been so soft and delicate; a mix of wolf, jasmine, milk and honey with the soft smell of a spring breeze.

Kouga had noticed and said nothing, simply kissing my forehead and sitting down for the evening meal with the boys.

The den was clean and with it I felt a smidge better, even after punching Kouga on the jaw for making den mother jokes, though I hadn't truly minded all that much.

Spring soon turned to summer and once more we found ourselves suffering the heat while the world around us seemed once again to be at war. I often worried for our friends and companions as the feuds between lords continued and many humans found themselves lost in the battles or somehow caught in or around them. I started writing letters which Kouga would have sent out with the help of our wolves. It wasn't until the end of summer and the early beginnings of fall when I received a reply.

The letter was large and had included a drawing from Shippo who seemed to still be with Miroku and Sango in the hunter village.

The letter read:

"Inuyasha,

We are glad to hear that you are doing well. Congratulations on bonding with Kouga. We are saddened to also hear of Ayame's death. She was a bright soul and will be missed.

Sesshomaru visits often to see Rin and he deemed us worthy enough to occasionally talk to. He says very little but we can tell that cares for you especially since he makes sure to mention you every visit.

Rin and Kohaku are to be wed mid-fall and Kohaku is a nervous groom. I have a feeling Rin will run circles around my poor brother, especially with such an intimidating father in law like Sesshomaru. Our family grows larger and larger and I am sure that you are not surprised to hear I am expecting again. I'm pretty sure that Miroku plans to repopulate the Hunter village with us alone.

Shippo is great and is passing all his kitsune exams. He's grown so tall in these past years and is excited to see you. We would love to visit sometime in the future if you will have us. Well I must make this letter short, seems the boys are causing havoc as usual.

Your friend,

Sango"

I couldn't help but grin as I refolded the letter and put it away safely into a wooden box that Kouga had made for me.

It became habit to save letters I had received and even drawings or writings from Ranken and Yuki. Kouga had gifted me with a cedar wood box that easily fit in my lap which had running wolves carved onto the lid that he himself had done. He had caught me stashing things away in-between dried linens in our storage basket and so made me this precious gift.

Fall was quick to pass us by in a flurry of gathering foods that could be stored such as nuts, grains and rice and prepping foods that could be stored with the aide of drying, salting and pickling. It grossed the Ran and Yuki out to see us salting and drying sardines and other small fish. It was an important source of protein and should we be unable to go out hunting it would be vital to our survival. I was taught by Koname how to pickle vegetables and what few we could find in the wilds or received from bartering were soon in brine to become tasty treats in the future.

Kou and the hunters brought in plenty of fresh meat which helped to further fatten us up as well as leaving plenty to be salted and dried. We had quite the winter supply which came in quite handy because the snow came early and the winter was harsh.

We did anything to stay warm and more often than not I spent the my time between the hot springs, snuggled under thick furs with Hime; when she chose to stay still long enough and sometimes even the boys. When I could do neither I would sit close to the fire and try to busy myself with the many things Ayame had taught me. I did a decent enough job of repairing clothes and had even made a decent enough job at making a pair or two of fur breeches and tops for the boys with matching cloaks to keep their ever growing bodies covered and warm and as safe from the elements as possible.

The two of them were bundles of trouble as they turned eight. They were growing by leaps and bounds and seemed to shoot up faster than weeds in the spring. Ran was loud and rambunctious and seemed to have his father's gift for running his mouth without letting his brain catch up. He wasn't dumb or even stupid, just a tidbit overzealous; too much energy and confidence for one so small.

Yuki was often Ran's voice of reason when Ran chose to. My Yuki was still small compared to Ran and was far more delicately built. He could handle himself fine and in the few tussles involving other older boys in the pack and even the rare occasion he fought with Ran he would win at least half if not more. Ran was an easy opponent to defeat when it came to Yuki; I was pretty sure he lost on purpose or simply conceded half the time.

Yuki still hid his fiery bronze eye when he was around others but when he was alone with just us his family he would push his bangs and sides back and out of the way. His eyes were gorgeous and I often told him so. His eyes were even livelier and bright when filled with happiness and I couldn't help but think back on how Ayame had described Kiba's eyes when he was younger. Yuki's auburn streak was special and though it was bright in his moonlit pale locks it was just as special as he was. His hair was thick like my own and was halfway down his small back.

Hime was such a strong little one. Her eyes had begun to develop the soft shades of green and I was amused as I realized they would more than likely be like her father's, a deep shade of cerulean blue. She would be a little heartbreaker when she was older.

She amused me by howling and yipping at me when simple fussing didn't get her what she wanted or when I simply told her "no" when she had requested or demanded something in her single word requests.

"Chew-way" was her way of calling me and "Toh" was Kouga. She called Ran "Ra" and Yuki was "Yu". When she wanted to nurse she'd call me and gesture with her hands at my chest or simply climbed into my lap even at the most inopportune times and would start to pull at my clothes so that she could get to her "mil" or milk. She was certainly a demanding little princess and I was guilty of spoiling her, Kou had said as much.

I could see now how Kagome turned out the way she had. It was hard to tell little girls "no", especially when that little girl was yours.

I was in a world of trouble with our little Hime. She definitely had us wrapped around her little fingers, even her brothers.

To Be Continued…

Yay~! Should have about 6-10 more chapters to go for this series. I suppose it depends on where the muse takes me. If you read my other series "Do what you have to do" you should check out my profile on Archive of our own. The talented LagunaL8 gifted me with sketches of InuYasha from various chapters as well as a beautiful image of Yasha and Ryusei. I am blown away and humbled at such amazing art.

Thank you all for reading and providing me with awesome reviews, kudos and art~!

Kat


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